Miscellaneous Ukrainian Pictures

Literally Feeling the Touch of God

No matter how many potholes we endured during our trip to Ukraine, we are able to look back and smile. We don't understand why we had to travel for 12 days only to return home without a child, but we are at peace with this. Don't get me wrong, when we got back to the hotel after visiting with the children, we were distraught mentally, emotionally, and physically. Jason and I both just sat down on our beds and cried. We're not supposed to question God, however we did on that night. We have prayed so earnestly about this adoption and God has moved so many mountains and opened doors that were seemingly shut, that to this day, we do not doubt that our child is waiting in Ukraine. Sometimes we encounter life events or challenges that just don't seem to make sense, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we took the wrong path or stepped outside of God's will. Oftentimes, it's during those challenges that we grow - Jason and I have certainly grown closer together but more importantly, closer to God. We do not regret our trip.

On Monday, after we went to the SDA and were told that we had to wait up to three months for another appointment, we went to the local Delta office and secured our flight back to the States. I waited for it to become daylight in Tennessee, then I called my parents. It shocked me when I heard the sadness in my mother's voice. I asked her why she sounded so upset and disappointed because Jason and I were alright and at peace. I simply told her that our child just isn't ready yet. Mom has since told me that she thought, if they are at peace, then I have to be at peace and she prayed for just that. Once again, God answered her prayers and delivered peace to her as well.

Some of you may be asking how we can be okay with spending so much money and traveling to Europe only to return to the US empty handed. Even more importantly, you may be thinking that God let us down or didn't answer our prayers. Well, God did and is still answering our prayers. He certainly didn't let us down. Just because we didn't get another appointment date right off, doesn't mean that God doesn't care or didn't hear us. Sometimes, He wants us to wait. We can't always see the big picture, but He can. We are confident that in His time, we will be granted a child - oh, what a day that will be!

On Friday, November 16, after we visited the orphanage, before we settled in for the night, we spent private time in devotion. The devotion centered around the fact that God never makes a promise that He will not keep. We also read about faith. The following passage in our study guide really hit home: "Faith should be practiced more than studied. Vance Havner said, ' Nothing is more disastrous than to study faith, analyze faith, make noble resolves of faith, but never actually to make the leap of faith.' How true!" It was at that point, that we dried our eyes and turned our faces upward. We asked God to use our adoption story to help others. We committed our "story" to Him and promised to share our struggles and achievements as God leads us. Looking back, we should have done that in the beginning, but then again, doesn't being in a steep ravine force us to look up?

On Monday, November 19, before we went to the SDA, our devotion centered around the passage about not worrying that is found in Matthew 6:25-34. We also read about God's timing. The passages included:

• "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14 NKJV

• "He said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority.'" Acts 1:7 Holman CSB

• The Faith Builder of the day: Trust God's Timing. God has very big plans in store for your life, so trust Him and wait patiently for those plans to unfold. And remember: God's timing is best, so don't allow yourself to become discouraged if things don't work out exactly as you wish. Instead of worrying about you future, entrust it to God.

Throughout our stay in Ukraine, God never left us for a moment. Actually, there were times when we could literally feel His hands upon our shoulders guiding us. We have never felt God's presence so strongly as when we were in Ukraine. For all of you who prayed, we felt your prayers! When we were standing in the Customs interrogation room, we felt God's arms, literally I could feel pressure and a sense of peace passed over me. I knew that we were going to board that plane with all of our belongings intact. When our flaps didn't work on the plane while trying to land in Nashville, once again I felt His arms around me and not once did I think about complications (even with emergency vehicles all over the runway) - we knew we were going to land safely. When we were weeping in the hotel room after the orphanage visit, His presence was evident. Don't ever doubt the power of prayer!

Meet our Facilitator: Yuri

This is Yuri, our facilitator. He is acting like our attorney in the adoption process. He submits all the necessary paperwork, advises us when necessary, and holds our hands throughout the process. So far, he has worked well with us! His English is very good, and he's very easy to talk to, so that helped us during our stay in Ukraine. He is also quite the ladies' man, so that was a definite plus for us (or at least that's the way it appears). In the adoption world, most of the officials are female, so it is very beneficial to be working with a young man who the ladies seem to swoon over!

On the way back to the U.S., Yuri traveled with us as far as New York. He was headed to Richmond, Virginia to spend several days with a family that he helped to adopt 3 boys earlier this year. His traveling with us was another disguised blessing.

When we were trying to leave Ukraine, we experienced difficulty leaving Ukraine. If Yuri had not been with us to assist us in working out the situation and translating, we would still be in Ukraine right now awaiting a court date. It was all a misunderstanding stemming from culture and language barriers, however it was a rather frustrating and frightening experience. We certainly do not want to re-experience that event again! I know I'm not providng detail, but just know that when we thought things couldn't get any worse, they did! We were and still are so thankful that God put Yuri on the same flight back to the US with us!

Coming home without Ashton's Sissy

When we arrived in Nashville, we had more trouble - the flaps wouldn't work on the airplane. We circled the airport for about 20 minutes trying to burn fuel so that we could land safely. Of course, there's nothing like looking out the window and seeing emergency crews around the plane. Once again, God kept us safe and gave us peace that everything was going to be okay.

When we walked through the terminal, Ashton was holding Leigh's hand and waiting for us. He wouldn't come near us because he didn't think it was really us. Leigh had to give him a little push and say, "There's Mommy and Daddy!" He did come to us, however behaved very shyly. We kissed him all over. After the kisses, he looked into my eyes and dropped a bombshell, "Where's my sissy?" You can only imagine how awful Jason and I felt at that moment. My parents had tried to explain to Ashton that we were going to have to return to Ukraine because sissy wasn't ready to come to "Merica" yet, however he still doesn't fully understand.

My sister-in-law, Denise, also has a 3 year old, Hannah, who is asking questions about her new cousin. Denise compared the situation with going to the store to buy bananas and the store being out. They have to make a trip another day to buy bananas. Hannah understood but Ashton didn't appreciate the analogy very much.

"It would break my heart," said Ashton Reed.

In Ukraine, there are a lot more boys available than there are girls. Yuri told us that for every 1 female orphane, there are 9 male orphanes. Well, we want a female under the age of 36 months. From the beginning, Ashton has also asked for a "sissy" as he refers to his new sibling. After church today, we were at McDonald's and talking to Ashton about our having to return to Ukraine. I told him that God may not have a sissy for him but may instead have a brother. When asked how he would feel about that, he replied, "It would break my heart." We were in awe at the comment from a newly-turned 3 year old.

We are sincerely praying that God will bless our family with a little girl. While we were in Ukraine, the boys were consistently pushed at us and the age range was increased. God tells us to pray specifically and to ask for the desires of our heart, therefore we are praying for a healthy little girl under 36 months. I certainly don't want Ashton's heart broken!

Last Days in Kyiv

We are spending our last two days in Kyiv just exploring the city. It is an absolutely beautiful city. There is a huge underground mall that is very easy to get lost inside of - trust us, we've gotten turned around quite a few times. It seems like we are going to the market quite frequently for water - that's where we are headed next. We are trying to keep our groceries to a minimum (mostly water, bread, and ham). We did buy one bag of chips that we thought were barbeque but ended-up being bacon flavored - quite tasty, a shame that they are not marketed by Lays in the US.

We blend-in pretty well until we open our mouths and speak. We have learned to walk fast and plow ahead with the rest of the people walking around the street and in the tunnels under the roads. It is really neat how people have twins across the world. Yesterday, we saw a man who looked like Bud Miller walking across the road from TGI Fridays. At the orphanage, the senior medical assistant looked, walked, and had mannerisms just like Christy Moore who used to attend Northside. We both looked at each other and smiled when seeing these people because we were thinking the same thing - twins across the world!

Now, off to find some lunch and back to the apartment. I am totally out of books to read, so I'll be ready to head to the library when I get back home. Jason has found a channel that is totally in Ukrainian but shows scary murder movies - he is fascinated with the shows and has been watching the channel for going on 2 days now.

Oh, Jason isn't feeling very well today, so please pray for him. It has been cold here, so I think he is getting a cold.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

What to Expect the 2nd Trip

For all of you wondering, this is what Yuri told us to expect during the second trip:

When Yuri contacts us again, he will have information about the child that the SDA has selected for us. We should not have to be concerned about significant health delays because the second appointment is structured so that you are pretty much guaranteed a child who matches your request. If the child is not adopted at the second appointment, then that's it - no more chances to see another child. This is the reason for the delay between appointments because the SDA is supposed to match you with a child (seems like this is the way it should have been on the first appointment, but then again no one asked us how the system should operate). If Yuri determines that the child is a good fit, then he will contact us and offer us the opportunity to visit. At this point in time, we may have anywhere between one and three weeks to prepare to travel. Can you just imagine how much we will run around during this period of time? At least we will be able to prepare somewhat for the child and not come home and have to do nothing but run and try to buy clothes and pull-ups or diapers. The room can be ready as well (more gender specific and not just green and white).

Yuri said that another area to pray about is that the child be located in a region in which the 10 day waiting period can be waived. After court, there is a 10 day waiting period in which the child remains in the orphanage and we will visit each day - a lot of time to read and twirl our fingers. In some regions, this period can be waived, however this only happens in 5% of adoptions. Still, God is good!

We were told to expect to be in region anywhere from 4 to 5 weeks on the next trip. It is possible to get everything done in 3 weeks but that can prove very challenging. At least with the later appointment, maybe the new child and Ashton won't be as close together in age.

Now, a recap of prayer requests:
1. Health little girl under 36 months
2. 10-day waiting period be waived
3. VERY quick in-country stay

Please pass these prayer requests along to all prayer warriors. We have definitely felt the hand of God on us throughout this adventure. Next trip, we will know more what to expect, so hopefully we can relax a little more and enjoy the ride (hopefully a smooth trip and not a roller-coaster like this trip!). Honestly, we are sad that we won't be flying home with a little one on Thursday, however we are excited about the child that God has waiting for us. I have read the blogs of so many other families who have had to wait for a second appointment and each one has stated that they wouldn't change a thing because had they received a good referral the first time, they would not have the child that they love as their own now.

We know God is still in control and just because we are coming home empty-handed per se now, our hearts are full and our hands won't be empty too terribly much longer! One thing is for sure, this trip has taught us what it truly means to be in a situation that only God can control, what it truly means to love and be loved, and the power of prayer.

We're Heading Back to America on Thursday

We just got back from the SDA and was told that there are 90 families waiting for second appointments for children under the age of 3. I guess we are family #91! We went to the local Delta office and changed our flight reservations. We asked to arrive in America on the first possible plane! We are leaving midday Thursday and will arrive in Nashville around 9:45 p.m. on Thursday. Fortunately we will gain a day by flying back home, and we will definitely need the extra hours to help ease some of the jetlag.

We are okay. The only time that I can truly remember pouring my heart out to God in such an intense manner is when I was praying for His healing power over my mother's cancer - he answered prayers then and is answering them still. We were told to expect a call from Yuri in about a month. The SDA will contact him with information about our child when it becomes available. At the next appointment, we will only be presented one child but it is supposed to be a healthy child (let's all pray for a girl). Yuri will be able to tell us the child's name, age, orphanage location, and medical information when he contacts us again. At least we will be able to prepare for the coming of this child instead of traveling blind - very, very difficult. We are excited, yes, excited! We know that right now, our child just isn't ready to join our family (for one reason or another). We will be able to spend the holidays with our family in America and enjoy all the festivities that come with this time of year. When our child is ready, God will beckon us back to Ukraine.

We are SO ready to head home. This has been a rather overwhelming experience. Yes, we have definitely experienced culture shock. If nothing else, this journey has helped to bring all of us closer to Christ and to each other. Our families have come together and cared for our child and grown closer together. We have found ourselves in a valley in which the walls were so steep that there was absolutely no way out and then God held his hand down to us and pulled us from the muck! There is so much in America that we take for granted even down to the little things like cleanliness, grape jelly, free refills at restaurants, etc. This Thanksgiving, take a moment to thank God for even the smallest of blessings.

It looks like we will be staying at Elvis' love shack for a few more days. When we get back home, I will update the blog with photos. We haven't really been able to take a lot of photos because it has been dark when we've had the opportunity to sightsee and it is not proper to take photos of most of the churches, trains, landmarks, etc. I do know one thing, we don't care if we EVER see another snowflake!

Holland Family, bring warm clothes! For our next trip, which we are excited about, we will pack MUCH differently. We brought 2 medium sized suitcases and a dufflebag - not next time! We won't bring a laptop next time, only 3 sets of clothes, no diapers, and quiet, mundane toys for the orphanages (not toys that make music or light-up like our agency encouraged because those scare the children). What we WILL DO is tie some funky looking ribbon or cloth around the handles of our luggage for easy identification at the airport. We had VIP service at the airport, and you should have seen the Ukrainian man trying to climb through the luggage tunnel to find our rather ordinary looking bags! Ribbon or cloth is a definite must for easy identification!

Thank you, everyone, for all the prayers, support, and comments. You have NO idea how wonderful it is to log-on and be able to hear from family and friends! Honestly, on some days, that really helped us to make it through. At times, it was hard to read the screen because both of us were trying to do so through tear-filled eyes! We miss everyone so much. If we don't get a chance to update before we get home - see you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you with appointments (Holland Family)

We are praying SO much for your appt. date. Please don't be discouraged by our journey because God has His hand on your journey and will provide - He will provide for us as well in His time. There is another family here from TN who had an appt. date on Wednesday as well and they received a referral for a 20 mos. little boy who is fine. Just because we have had a bad experience does not mean that your experience will be bad - keep the faith!

Just some tidbit that we want to pass along:

• It's okay to wear jeans, we are practically the only ones not wearing them!
• Bring Oust and Lysol, you will use both. The odors here (especially coming up from the toilets) is quite different from at home!
• You can buy most anything here in Kiev.
• Diapers and Pull-ups are easily bought here. If you have a hard time, ask Yuri to take you to the market behind the apt. on Gorky Street.
• Bring lots of jelly packets like you get from Hardees. Yuri didn't know what jelly or jam was and what we bought didn't really taste that good.
• Bring just a few napkins with you in case your apartment does not have any and you can't make it to the market
• Toilet paper is plentiful. Maybe just bring one roll with you for emergencies.
• LOTS of hand sanitizer that fits into your purse.
• Just bring 3 pairs of pants and shirts - don't pack a lot, they rewear everything!
• Bring warm scarf, glove, and mittens! Don't wait until you get here to buy scarves!
• Keep bottled water with you at all times.
• Bring babywipes on the trains because the bathrooms are NASTY!!!!
• No need to bring a hot pot - there has been one in every apartment so far.
• Bring plenty of nylon cord for clothesline - the suction cup lines do NOT work.
• Bring a travel clock and iron. Most places have had hairdryers but we forgot our iron and clock!

You will adore Yuri! He is great to be around and very friendly. He will NEVER treat you like a dumb American.

We're praying for you!

By the way, we haven't experienced any holes in the ground for toilets - another prayer answered. Actually in all but one of our hotels, the bathrooms were actually MUCH nicer that ours at home! There is a slight odor that oftentimes comes-up through the sewage but that's nothing that a little Oust or scented Lysol can't remedy!

Also, be sure that Yuri takes you to The Arena for pizza. We loved the San Francisco pizza (pepperoni). The TGI Friday's is also good!

Have a wonderful trip and walk very, very fast. If you have to ride a train, be ready to run because when it is time to board, the people will flat run you over because the train loads very quickly and then leaves again. There is no stopping a Ukrainian who is on a mission to board a train - trust us!!!! Try to have fun and ejoy the ride (try to secure first class tickets if possible and prepare to wiggle on those long rides because there's not much padding for your rear!). Just have fun and consider this a journey, at night you will have something to laugh about from the day - trust us because with all the disappointments and horrible experiences, we have always had something that we could smile about.

Update on First Week - Ready to Return to America

It seems like a year has passed since we last updated you on our travel adventures. Well, here goes....We had our appointment this past Wednesday. Immediately we were told that only one child was available (definitely not a true statement) and that he is 12 months old and has had 2 surgeries on his bladder. His bladder does not function at all and he will have to wear diapers for the rest of his life. We patiently listened to the translator and psychologist and then asked to see more children. Things seemed to go downhill from there. We were shown children with Hep C, nonfunctioning livers, severe cerebral palsy, severe psychological delay and retardation, the list goes on. We decided to visit a set of sisters age 3 1/2 and 2. The youngest sister has a cleft palate and cleft lip but had had 2 surgeries to repair the lip but still needed surgery on the palate. Both girls were said to have the normal orphanage social and psychological delay but nothing serious. The older girl was said to suffer from hysterics which in our society means fussiness. The younger child was said to walk normally and speak according to her age level. We did not want to leave the appt. without at least agreeing to visit a child because the conditions may be better than expected. Okay, remember what I just told you because we confirmed all this before leaving the appt. with the SDA. Well, we left by train the next day at 4:30 p.m. to travel to the region of Keminski (sp?). We arrived around 9:00 p.m. on Thursday and checked into a hotel. The next morning, we met our translator in the lobby at 9:00 a.m. and headed to the inspector's office. The inspector is over all the orphanages in her region. She was very polite but seemed surprised that we wanted to visit these children. The senior medical associate from the orphanage happened to be at the inspector's office when we arrived, so she rode with us to the orphange. We met with the director and received more medical information about the girls. The meeting was very discouraging. Apparently, we were not given very accurate information at the SDA about the true condition of the girls. Both girls were severly handicapped and suffered from extreme psychological and social delays, had cerebral palsy, and hip dyplasia. The youngest child could not walk and could not talk at all. Our translator told us that she could not walk because of the surgery that she had had to repair her cleft lip (okay, since when does surgery on your mouth impair your ability to walk - this didn't make sense). The older child also has epilepsy. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. The children were very loving but these were not the children for us. We refused the referral and spent the remainder of the day traveling throughout the city trying to get our refusal paperwork notarized and signed by both the orphanage director and inspector. Both were very polite about our refusal and understood completely. The inspector said that the psychologist at the SDA should have informed us of all the medical conditions because had we not be told false information, we would not have spent the money and time to travel to the region. This has definitely been one of the WORST experiences of our life. It was heart-wrenching to be introduced as Momma and Papa and know that these were not our girls. We will never forget the hug that we received from the oldest child or how it felt when she waived goodbye and called us Momma and Papa.

We are now back in Kiev and facing a huge dilemna. Right now, families wanting a healthy child under the age of 3 are waiting up to 3 months for their next appointment. At the next appointment, it is said that we can rest assured that we will receive a "good" referral, however as you can probably imagine, Jason and I are very hesitant about what to expect because of how our first appointment went. We will be going to the SDA on Monday to hand-in our letter requesting another appointment. Our facilitator, Yuri, has been wonderful through all of this and understands completely. He said that on our appointment date this past Wednesday, he was sent to make photocopies of our dossier and was told that they were implementing a new rule in which facilitators could not be present in the meeting. Apparently, they were making sure that he was not present because he would have been able to read the medical report and urge us not to accept the referrals. Apparently, the SDA was determined to send us to a region one way or another.

PRAYER REQUEST: We need another appointment date within the next week or we will be returning to America without a child. If we have to return home and then travel again in 3 months, we may face difficulty with Nissan allowing Jason off for an extended period of time again. We both have to be present in Ukraine in order to select a child and attend court. PLEASE PRAY THAT WE GET A REFERRAL THIS WEEK - THIS MEANS THAT GOD WILL HAVE TO PERFORM A MIRACLE!

Yuri said that practically all of his families receive good referrals on the first visit and that he has not had a family in our situation. Kate, the Eastern European director at America World, has not seen a situation like this either. I cannot even begin to tell you how discouraged we are (not to mention homesick). We know that God is in ultimate control and that the SDA has no power that is greater than His, however I will tell you that our faith is certainly being tested!

We are having difficulty sleeping because our neighbors are up until 2 or 3 in the morning and having company. They talk very, very loudly and do not care that they are in the hallway right outside your door and practically yelling. For two nights straight we have had someone beat on our door late at night - we dare not open the door because we can't understand them! The dogs run rampant in Ukraine. We had read that taking a rabies shot was recommended however we had no idea at the number of dogs just roaming around - there was even a dog in the grocery store. When we were riding in a car in region visiting the orphanage, I saw an elderly lady being chased by a dog from the back with another one barking at her in the front (of course, no one stopped to help her). In the region, we saw people eating from trashcans. People also "rent" their children out to beggars on the street. We saw one last night in Kiev and she was holding a screaming child and wanting money. Yuri told us to keep walking because more likely than not, that was a rented child. It is absolutely amazing, and horrifying, the sights that we have seen.

It is very cold with snow and ice everywhere. It kills me how the ladies wear such spiked boots and never fall. I guess they are used to it, but we are very careful walking. We haven't ventured out much because we haven't had time. Today is the first day in which we really haven't had anything to do. We are now staying downtown Kiev in what I have termed Elvis' Love Shack. I wish we could post pictures because you would roll with laughter! Truly, the bedroom is the most posche sight you will ever behold (complete with irridescent stickers on the furniture). The thing is, where we are staying is supposed to be very, very nice and is pricey. It's clean and the sheets have been washed (that's more than we can say about one of our hotels wile in region visiting the orphanage).

PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR VISIT TO THE SDA TOMORROW. ASK EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO PRAY THAT GOD DESCENDS UPON UKRAINE LIKE HE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE!

Thank you for all the comments. We love hearing from home! We miss you all dearly!!!!!!!!

Our First Full Day in Ukraine

Well, it's Monday evening here and Yuri brought us to an internet cafe. We have just enjoyed a delightful meal in which I had pizza and Jason had borsch and enjoyed it very much. The city is very beautiful. It was snowing when we arrived in Kiev and continued until this morning. The city is not what we expected - I'm not really sure what we expected, but it's different nonetheless. The architecture is exquisite and the people, especially the women, are very beautiful and fashionable. Our apartment is wonderful and very spacious. The bathroom is even equipped with a garden tub and shower head - not at all what we were expected from some of the internet pictures we had viewed. We miss home tremendously, especially Ashton, but we know that God has brought us here for a purpose and everything will work out according to His will.

Our facilitator, Yuri, has been wonderful. His English is excellent and he is very easy to get along with - another prayer answered on this awesome journey. We made it through Customs in a whirlwind. We were greeted at the gate by a man holding a sign with our name and then we literally ran to keep-up with the people assisting us - once again, another blessing. The plane rides were uneventful - thankfully. We met a couple in Nashville who are here in Ukraine with us with an appointment date on Wednesday as well. On the ride from New York to Kiev, we were with a group of orphans who had been visiting in California. One little boy was supposed to sit beside me next to the window but was terrified. He looked at me and said, "No English! No English!" Jason switched seats with him and everything was fine. The food was great on the plane but they were trying to feed you everytime you turned around.

When we got to the apartment, Yuri took us to the market and we bought some ham, cheese, mayo, bread, bananas, and water. We exchanged some money and are now trying to figure-out their system. We are really excited to be able to experience Ukraine. We can't wait to see what God has in store for us next!

Thank you for all the posts, e-mails, and encouragment. We are having a wonderful time, and we can definitely feel your prayers. There is no doubt in our minds that we are not in God's will. We can't wait to see what blessings he has in store for us next!

Take care of the homefront!

Love,
Jason and Erica

Leaving for Ukraine

We didn't go to bed until about 1:00 a.m. on Saturday morning and had to be up by 5:00 a.m. Jason's parents and sister, Denise, with her children, arrived shortly after 6:00 a.m. to wish us farewell. My parents and Leigh arrived shortly thereafter. My Dad and Leigh took us to the airport. It was horrible leaving Ashton, at least it was for us. He didn't shed a tear, but he knows where we are going and why. My parents stated that he has asked about us about why we had to go get "sissy" but he is doing great. We miss him terribly. I cried constantly - imagine that. We packed 2 suitcases and 1 large carry-on and a laptop bag - we are loaded down. Most of the "stuff" is food or things we will leave behind on the way home. Saturday was a very difficult day in all aspects - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

You won't believe how much our lunch cost in the JFK airport - $27.00. We had two small bottled waters, two ham sandwiches, and a side salad that was smaller than the palm of my hand! Jason said the salad tasted like grass, however he ate it because he said it was too expensive to waste.