Update from America World

I received a phone call and two e-mails from America World today. This morning, there was a rather large meeting in Ukraine that was comprised of SDA (adoption center) officials and facilitators with families waiting for second appointments. There are approximately 125 families waiting for second appointments at this time. At this time, the SDA plans to invites families for second appointments between 1/14/08 and 2/29/08. It is unknown whether or not families will travel to adopt a specific child or if families will be shown profiles once they arrive at the SDA (this is how the 1st appointment operates). We are hoping that we will travel for a specific child because we do not want to be faced with very sick children again. It was gut-wrenching for the children to call us Momma and Papa when we knew that we could not adopt them!

Our facilitator has another meeting on Monday, 12/24/07, to discuss more details about the second appointment process. At this time, we know that we will have to pay to re-do quite a few documents and medical tests, so I know what I will be doing the first of the year! Please pray earnestly for good news and for God's guidance both for families waiting and Ukraine officials. We will receive a phone call sometime Monday with more details after Yuri's meeting. We'll keep you posted, but until then please PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

We were supposed to fly home with our child today :(

Today has been a difficult day for us. After Jason left to go to work, Ashton woke-up and climbed into bed with me. I thought he was going back to sleep, however his little brain was in overdrive. He said, "Mommy, when are you going to get sissy?" Neither Jason nor I even mentioned last night that if the adoption had gone smoothly, we would be arriving back in the US tonight. I guess in Ashton's heart, he is longing for his sibling just like us. Maybe this seems extreme to some people, but we have prayed so hard for this little child, love him or her so deeply, and have experienced such a roller coaster ride, that not to be able to express our love to the newest member of our family hurts more than words can express. When God calls you to adopt, He places a love and desire in your heart that is not understood by most who have not also felt that calling. Have you ever heard anyone say, "I couldn't love a child who was not my own?" I think as parents, when you have your own child, it is hard to imagine a more powerful love than that which you have for your natural child - from the very time of his or her known existence in the womb. In order to love a child not from your womb just as much as a biological, that love comes from God and is just as strong and deep as that of a natural child. If you have children, just imagine what it would feel like if your child was across the world and you were completely separated from him or her - wouldn't you long to be united together?

I can't help but think about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and what she must have felt all those centuries ago. She loved the child growing within her yet she must have been scared, excited, and overwhelmed all at once - emotions that we too are experiencing over the child that God is going to bless us with. God held her hand through it all and provided her with comfort. How her heart must have longed to hold the Holy child growing within her womb and then the day came when she wept as she held the lifeless body that had been tortured for no sins that He had commited. I am in no way trying to compare our child to Christ, but I can't help but to compare the emotions about looking upon our child's face for the first time.

Before starting our day, Ashton and I talked about when we would leave again to go back to Ukraine. He said that he wasn't going to cry and that he wants to be at the airport when "sissy comes to 'Merica". He also wants his cousins there, so he called them each by name. Right before we got up, he said, "I love my sissy, Mommy." Needless to say, my eyes were far from dry!

Stocking space just for our Ukrainian Blessing

"Look, Sissy, next year you will have a stocking on our family placard! We saved room just for you!"

Hangin' In There

The love and support that we have experienced throughout this adoption experience has been and continues to be absolutely overwhelming. Thank you to each and every person who has prayed for us, expressed a tender smile, shed a tear, and just been there with us and for us. Some of you, we may never meet or even know you are out there following our journey, but we thank you for your support and most of all, prayers.

We're not going to tell you that everything is just fine and that we don't have a care in the world. It is amazing the roller coaster of emotions that we experience daily. Even down to little Ashton, he doesn't understand why his sibling is still in Ukraine. On more than one occasion, he has asked me, "God with sissy?" Sometimes it's easy to overlook that Ashton longs for his sibling just as much as we do. He may only be three, but we have tried to prepare him for our extended stay in Ukraine and how God has a sibling just for him. Just this weekend, he asked if Santa was going to come see Julianna and who was going to love her because she doesn’t have a Mommy.

At daycare, Mrs. Cindy prepared a placard for each family with a stocking for each family member. She placed three stockings on ours and labeled each one. Ashton was quick to point-out that the empty place was for sissy’s stocking. Mrs. Cindy included the extra stocking so that when the time comes, our family plaque will be complete. The empty spot where Julianna’s stocking is supposed to hang very much resembles how we feel right now. It’s like there is an empty spot in our hearts. We all love our new child and feel very sad that she is in an orphanage without a family to love her. In our minds, we know that God has His own timing and that it is perfect, however our hearts are aching.

We’re filling our days with Ashton and making memories. So often, we taken children for granted. It is so frustrating when we see people having children and not caring about them. We think, why can that person have children and we can’t? As a mother, I cannot imagine not loving or caring for your child. Just this morning, while Ashton was sleeping, I held him in my arms, kissed his little head, and thanked God for the wonderful blessing that He gave us in Ashton. I want him to grow-up knowing that he is unconditionally loved. I long to show our new child that same love that Ashton and many of us so often take for granted.

I know that we aren’t supposed to question God or be selfish in our prayers, however it’s easy to get wrapped-up in wanting answers as to why didn’t things work out the first time appointment, how are we going to leave Ashton again, will we receive a good referral, etc. We’re trying to focus on the present and leave all our anxiety and questions at the foot of the cross, however it is a constant struggle because we want to be able to fix everything right now and have immediate answers. Right now, our hearts are breaking and we are longing for another child to share our lives and love with. Comfort comes only through reading God’s Word.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. “
Psalm 121: 1-4

Elvis' Love Shack

1st Apartment and Region Hotel