Ashton's Bombshell

On our way home from church tonight, Ashton said something that really broke my heart. He stated, "Mommy love Sissy more." I could have cried - actually, I did. We have been very open with Ashton about the adoption process and how he is going to have a new sibling. He typically does pretty well and can even point to Ukraine on the map. I never expected Ashton to make a statement of that nature. We love him so much and always dote on him. I just can't imagine how horrible it is going to be to be separated from him for such a long period of time. When he gets ready to go to bed at night, he says that he needs his Mommy and he needs his Daddy - what's he going to think when we are gone? I only wish he could comprehend how much he is truly loved!

Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic

This morning, we attended a seminar hosted by the Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic. The speakers consisted of a pediatrician, therapist, and psychologist - all of whom were very informative. They will work in conjunction with our pediatrician, Dr. Eastham, to diagnose and effectively treat our new child for any ailments. Our child will have a cursory exam in Ukraine when applying for a Visa, however more in-depth testing is recommended. In order for a child to be eligible for international adoption, a medical condition must be diagnosed, therefore many children receive very creative diagnoses but are actually relatively healthy by our standards. We want our child to receive the best possible diagnosis and treatment options available, therefore we do anticipate utilizying the clinic's services.

One interesting tidbit of information that we received is that our new child will more than likely not respond to falls or injuries like Ashton does. For example, if the child falls, he or she may jump-up and state that he is okay when in reality what he really needs is TLC. Children raised in orphanages have learned to self-soothe and rely mostly on themselves because caregivers do not have time to give them the TLC that they crave. When Ashton takes a minor fall, we tell him that he's okay and he's a big boy - he doesn't think anything about it. Our new child will need to be paid attention to because he or she has never had that type of attention. This will be one way in which we hope to bond with our child. Think about it, this child is leaving the only life that he or she knows and is entering a whole new world of strangers - he or she doesn't know who to trust, much less love.

http://www.vanderbiltinternationaladoption.com/

Airline Reservations

Until now, it has seemed as if we were living a dream and still in the paperchase process. We have just reserved our airline tickets with Delta. We used the services of Kathy Henry with All Direct Travel to obtain the best rates - she's been wonderful! Well, we will be flying out of Nashville, into New York, and then on to Kiev on November 10th!

Follow-up Letter to Family

Today, we mailed follow-up letters to our immediate family and then separate letters to our extended family and friends who have been so supportive of the adoption. I'm posting the follow-up letter (which was very similar to that received by extended family and friends) because several people online have asked to read it. After joining a couple of online Ukrainian adoption groups, I began to realize that a lot of people have experienced difficulty in explaining why they chose international over domestic adoption and in handling derogatory remarks about their choice to adopt. I think our social worker had a great idea when she suggested the letters because they have served as a way for people to better understand the decision and process without feeling too nosy and even more so, they have helped to eliminate derogatory remarks because people understand why we chose to adopt. Hopefully, these letters can help other families in their adoption journey.

FAMILY LETTER #2:

This letter delivers very exciting news – our adoption application has been approved by Ukraine officials! We are scheduled to leave for Ukraine on November 10th! So far, the adoption process has transpired very smoothly – of course, we all prayed that God’s hand wouldn’t lift from our paperwork. The Eastern European director at America World (our agency) stated that she has never seen anything like it – our homestudy was completed in record time, U.S. officials have processed our paperwork with unheard of fast timing; and our application was submitted to Ukraine in less than one month (Ukraine only accepts a maximum of 8 American applications each Monday)! The director stated that when God works in our lives, He moves mountains. Prayers work!

Once we arrive in Ukraine, we will have an appointment with Ukraine adoption officials. During that appointment, we will be shown a selection of approximately two to six photographs and biographies. We must “pick” our child from those photographs. Oftentimes, the photos are at least a year old and do not accurately reflect the appearance of the child today. The medical and background information will be very sketchy and not all that reliable. As such, we will be hiring a physician who specializes in international adoptions to assist us in determining the correct medical condition of the child we select to visit. If after visiting with the child, we do not think that he or she is an appropriate match or that the medical conditions are severe, we will have another opportunity to visit with another child.

We can only imagine what you are thinking – how are we going to “pick” a child? We keep asking ourselves that very question! That’s where you come in. Please begin praying now that on the day of our appointment (November 14th), God will lead us to the child that He has created for us. We will have only minutes – literally – to decide upon a child. There will be very little time for discussion back and forth, so we are completely relying on God’s guidance in that when we see the picture and hear the bio, we will know without a doubt which child to choose. We know that God’s presence is very real in this adoption – He will lead us if allowed to do so.

The other thing that we ask is that you also begin praying for the length of our stay. The average in-country stay is four to six weeks, however Ukraine has now mandated a new type of passport. Like the U.S. government, Ukraine was not prepared for the backlog that the new regulations created. Unfortunately, some families have been forced to stay an additional six weeks in order to receive the correct documentation so that their newly adopted child can leave the country. Nissan will allow Jason time to travel overseas, however he may have to return to the U.S. earlier than Erica does in order to return to work. We are not stressing about this right now because we know that God’s hand is in this adoption and that He will provide - He has shown that to us time and time again! Please join us in praying in that between now and November, Ukraine will get caught-up with issuing passports so that we can get back to the States in record time!

We are so very excited about the calling that God has placed on our family – don’t forget that the calling also extends to you. We can’t wait to introduce our newest child to everyone. We’re also wondering how Ashton is going to react to a new little brother or sister! By the way, instead of Ashton having to pack-up and move to his grandparent’s house during our journey abroad, he is going to be able to continue living at our house (with a caretaker, of course) while we are away – another prayer answered!

Another little tidbit of news is that I (Erica) am no longer inflicted with heart disease! After undergoing further testing in July, it was determined that my heart is now functioning well within normal limits and is no longer enlarged. My cardiologist literally cried when he gave me the report. He said that whereas I have been on medication for less than one year, there is no medical explanation for my hasty recovery, therefore the recovery can only be attributed to the work of God. He said that he just couldn’t understand why God would allow me to undergo such a serious ailment only to heal my body a year later – I told him that I knew why. There is a child across the world who needs a home, and that had I not undergone this illness, we would not have begun the adoption journey at this point in our lives. The phone line was quiet after this comment, and then the comment was made by my cardiologist – “To God be the glory!” We would “Amen” that comment!

Thank you for all your support, encouragement, and prayers during the last several months and in the months to come. It is so encouraging to know that we are not undergoing this amazing, and yet scary, experience alone!

Dossier Submitted - Another Prayer Answered

We received the call from America World that our facilitator, Yuri, was able to submit our dossier today. Each Monday, approximately 8 American dossiers (adoption applications) are accepted by the SDA (Ukraine adoption agency). There is a waiting list for submissions, so we are really blessed that our paperwork has been submitted. Ukraine has approximately 20 days to review our file and extend an invitation to travel. Right now, we are being told to expect approx. 30 - 45 days before we hear any news because the SDA is backlogged with dossiers. We're praying and God's moving mountains.

Yard Sale to Benefit Adoption

We had a yard sale at the Tudor house this morning. We raised over $300.00 to help with the adoption costs. I am going to the Secretary of State this week to apostille (certify) our dossier, so the amount raised will be more than enough to pay for the service. People were very gracious and many gave extra because of the adoption. We had a blast! It was well worth staying-up practically all night on Friday just trying to get everything priced. Ashton was quite the greeter and made sure that he thanked everyone for helping to bring his new little sibling home. Once again, God is good!

I-171H Received

We received the form today that allows our child to be officially considered an American citzen as soon as the airplane wheels touch the ground! We are so excited. This is the document that we were concerned was not going to arrive in a timely manner. We have prayed and prayed that our application (I-600A) would processed in record time - prayers work! Our agency was astounded that we received the documentation in less than one month. I'm so excited that tears are streaming down my face! Jason opened the envelope while I was at my parents' house, so he didn't have a clue what it was. I had to leave immediately just to make sure this was real!

Letter to Our Family

Adoption is far reaching and impacts not only our lives but that of our family and friends as well. After we determined that adoption was the path that God had planned for our lives, we excitedly shared the news with family and friends. We quickly realized that not everyone was excited about this decision as we were. Needless to say, this was heartbreaking and very frustrating. Society takes for granted that babies are conceived and born everyday, when that's not reality for everyone. Sometimes God's plan is not for a child to grow in a mother's tummy but instead in her heart. I think the most frustrating conversations that we experienced were those in which we were told that we should adopt from America because we need to take of Americans. Where would be today if Christ had come to Earth only to heal and save the Jews?

Adoption is a very personal choice that should be supported, but reality is that many people cannot or will not support something that they don't understand. For us, adoption is not "Plan B" because this is the route that God knew we would travel before we were even born, much less married. Our social worker suggested that we should write a letter to help prepare people and enable them to better understand our decision. In reality, the rather probing questions and remarks weren't so much from family as from others, because we don't see our family all that often due to living in various states. I certainly didn't want to walk-in at Christmas and people wonder who the new child was! The following is a copy of the letter that we sent to our relatives. It was very well received and they are all very supportive.

Dear Family Member,

I’m writing to let you know of a very special event in our family – Jason and I are in the midst of adopting a child from Ukraine. As we scurry around to complete paperwork, meet with our social worker, and deal with international bureaucracy, we are reminded that God has set us out on this journey and will be with us to enjoy the end result – a child to cradle in our arms and love forever. However, this journey is not just ours, it is yours as well. Although you will not physically travel across the world with us, you will definitely be in our hearts and on our minds. Throughout this process, we have come to realize just how special you are to us and to our children. Miles may keep us apart but our hearts are quilted together by the hand of God, for He chose that we should share the same bloodline but even more, share our love and lives – that’s what makes us family.

Preparing for this adoption extends to your home as well as to ours. It is important for us to know that you too will embrace this child, who although will not share our physical traits or the blood that runs through our veins but will share our in our lives and most importantly, our love and commitment to each other. Some of you may be asking, “Why adopt?” or “Why adopt internationally?” The answers are simple, because God has placed a very special calling on our life to do so. There is no rhyme or reason as to why Ukraine except that God has opened door after door and continuously tugged at our heartstrings. It is our hope that after learning more of our story, you too will feel a tugging at your heartstrings that cannot be denied and long for the day when you too can embrace the newest member of our family.

Now, we have something to ask of you…we need your prayers. Dealing with a foreign government can be very difficult – especially emotionally. Laws change constantly, so nothing is ever for certain. Due to black market baby scandals, Ukraine’s international adoption program has just reopened this year. The adoption process has been completely revised and is still being “tweaked” as the days pass. We are waiting on our passports and a specific form that allows our child to become a U.S. citizen once he or she touches U.S. soil. We are asking that you covenant with us to pray that the both the U.S. and Ukraine governments cooperate and are speedy in completing their portion of the paperwork.

We are also requesting that you pray for each and every individual who has played or will play a part in the adoption process. At this time, we are finalizing our paperwork and preparing to send it to Ukraine for translation and review. If our application is approved (a huge prayer request), we will then receive an invitation to travel. The duration of our stay in Ukraine will be approximately four to six weeks. During that time, we will literally “pick” our child from a selection of photographs of children who match our prerequisites. We are requesting a healthy little girl (but will accept a little boy) who is between the age of 14 months and 24 months. Ashton turned two in October of 2006, so we want to maintain the birth order of our children. Under Ukrainian law, the adoption of a child under 14 months is not allowed unless the parents are Ukrainian citizens.

The most important prayer request of all is for our child. Please pray that when our appointment day arrives, we will be shown the child that God has picked for us and that Jason and I will both know who this little person is without a doubt. Once we select a child, we will then be transported to her orphanage to visit with her. After visiting with her, if we decide that she is indeed the child for us, then a court date is scheduled. If you are wondering what we will do if we don’t like the child for some reason, we do have the option of visiting with another child and adopting her.

There are two very discouraging aspects of this process – being away from Ashton and knowing that in all likelihood, our little girl (or boy) is across the world without a Mommy or Daddy. My arms literally ache for this child. When a child is conceived within you, the love you have for that child grows with you. When a child is adopted, the love grows within the heart and is faceless but ever so strong. Please pray that each night, God will descend from heaven and rock our precious child to sleep. This may seem odd to you, but I pray daily that God will allow our little girl to see our faces each night so that she will know that we are coming as fast as we can and that we love her. This little poem says it all:

I hope you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are…what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

-------- Author Unknown

Some children think babies come from storks, but for Ashton, his little brother or sister will arrive from an airplane! For those of you who don’t know, Ashton is fixated by airplanes and begs his PaPa to take him to the airport whenever possible. How fitting for an airplane to bring his little sibling across the world to share in all of our lives.

I know I’ve taken-up a lot of your time, however it is important to us that you are aware of the expansion of our family and that you play a very valuable role in helping us to pray for a blessed adoption with the way made smooth. We ask that you share our requests with your other family members so that they too can pray and share in this experience. Hopefully, we will travel before the end of this year!

We are very open about this journey and would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have or just share more about how we arrived at our decision to adopt. Please note that although we are not expanding our family by traditional methods, adoption is by no means “Plan B” for us. Before we ever got married, Jason and I discussed adoption and how we wanted to have at least one of our own and adopt…you see, God always prepares us for what is ahead even when we don’t realize it. My heart condition isn’t an ailment that is restricting my life but a twist in the road that brings us to our appointed path in life. Thank you for listening to our story and sharing in our journey.

TBI Criminal History Report

Today we faxed our request for a criminal history report to TBI. I was so impressed by their services. I received a phone call verifying exactly what we needed within two hours of faxing! Believe it or not, the government is quick in completing some tasks!

AWAA Approved Our Initial Application

We received both a phone call and e-mail today stating that America World has approved our initial application. We truly feel that this is the agency that God has appointed to assist us in this adoption journey. They have worked diligently in assisting us with the transition from China to Ukraine, therefore we feel confident that we will enjoy working with them. Now, we are waiting for our dossier and home study checklist. Let the paper pregnancy begin!

http://www.awaa.org

Changing Country from China to Ukraine

Well, we've had to switch gears and start looking at other countries besides China. Effective May 2007, new adoption regulations will go into effect in China that may prohibit us from adopting from there. My heart condition may very well become a stumbling block to a successful adoption, therefore AWAA recommends that we choose another country. Our options are Russia, Ethiopia, and Ukraine. We were told that out of the three options, Ukraine would be the most predictable because Ethiopia is a relatively new program and Russia is currently experiencing great turmoil within the adoption world. Ukraine's adoption program has just reopened this month and has been re-vamped over the last several months. We have decided upon Ukraine. Of course, the program is a lot more costly than China, however we are trusting God to provide. It is amazing how His presence has been so strong throughout this process. We are submitting our modified intent to adopt letter to AWAA today. It's time to buckle-up and get ready for the roller coaster ride!

Mailing Preliminary Application to AWAA

Today, we submitted our preliminary application to AWAA. This is the first bit of paperwork that we have had to complete. An intake coordinator with America World will review our paperwork and determine what country we are eligible to adoption from. Our jobs, financial status, religious background, and health conditions will all be considered in making a decision whether or not AWAA will agree to serve as our agency. We are excited and scared at the same time. We've shared several family prayers over the paperwork, and it's all in God's hands!

Attending the Adoption Seminar

We attended the adoption seminar this morning. It was wonderful! I (Erica) actually cried throughout the majority of the program. Families from China, Ukraine, Russia, and Ethiopia gave their testimonies about how God led each of them to their child. A social worker spoke about what to expect in completing the homestudy and how to prepare for the overwhelming paper pregnancy. Paper pregnancy is the term used that refers to the period of time in which you are collecting documents for the dossier (adoption application) and waiting for a referral or travel date. I can't wait to be enter the paper pregnancy phase - hopefully it won't include extreme nauseau like I experienced while pregnant with Ashton! We are really excited but are still praying that God will ead us to the right agency and country.

On the way home, we ate lunch at Chick-fil-a and found ourselves parked beside a vehicle with an adoption magnet and then sitting beside a Caucasian family with a Chinese little boy. Is God trying to tell us something or what?

America World Adoption Seminar

We have just registered online for an adoption seminar conducted by America World and to be held at Fellowship Baptist Church in Bentwood, Tennessee. This is a huge step for us, however after a lot of research on agencies and countries, we really feel led to find out more information about America World. Included in the initial package from AWAA was a DVD - we have watched it repeatedly. We're not sure how we are going to finance the adoption, however we are confident that if this is God's will then He will provide all of our needs.