Adoption is a very personal choice that should be supported, but reality is that many people cannot or will not support something that they don't understand. For us, adoption is not "Plan B" because this is the route that God knew we would travel before we were even born, much less married. Our social worker suggested that we should write a letter to help prepare people and enable them to better understand our decision. In reality, the rather probing questions and remarks weren't so much from family as from others, because we don't see our family all that often due to living in various states. I certainly didn't want to walk-in at Christmas and people wonder who the new child was! The following is a copy of the letter that we sent to our relatives. It was very well received and they are all very supportive.
Dear Family Member,
I’m writing to let you know of a very special event in our family – Jason and I are in the midst of adopting a child from Ukraine. As we scurry around to complete paperwork, meet with our social worker, and deal with international bureaucracy, we are reminded that God has set us out on this journey and will be with us to enjoy the end result – a child to cradle in our arms and love forever. However, this journey is not just ours, it is yours as well. Although you will not physically travel across the world with us, you will definitely be in our hearts and on our minds. Throughout this process, we have come to realize just how special you are to us and to our children. Miles may keep us apart but our hearts are quilted together by the hand of God, for He chose that we should share the same bloodline but even more, share our love and lives – that’s what makes us family.
Preparing for this adoption extends to your home as well as to ours. It is important for us to know that you too will embrace this child, who although will not share our physical traits or the blood that runs through our veins but will share our in our lives and most importantly, our love and commitment to each other. Some of you may be asking, “Why adopt?” or “Why adopt internationally?” The answers are simple, because God has placed a very special calling on our life to do so. There is no rhyme or reason as to why Ukraine except that God has opened door after door and continuously tugged at our heartstrings. It is our hope that after learning more of our story, you too will feel a tugging at your heartstrings that cannot be denied and long for the day when you too can embrace the newest member of our family.
Now, we have something to ask of you…we need your prayers. Dealing with a foreign government can be very difficult – especially emotionally. Laws change constantly, so nothing is ever for certain. Due to black market baby scandals, Ukraine’s international adoption program has just reopened this year. The adoption process has been completely revised and is still being “tweaked” as the days pass. We are waiting on our passports and a specific form that allows our child to become a U.S. citizen once he or she touches U.S. soil. We are asking that you covenant with us to pray that the both the U.S. and Ukraine governments cooperate and are speedy in completing their portion of the paperwork.
We are also requesting that you pray for each and every individual who has played or will play a part in the adoption process. At this time, we are finalizing our paperwork and preparing to send it to Ukraine for translation and review. If our application is approved (a huge prayer request), we will then receive an invitation to travel. The duration of our stay in Ukraine will be approximately four to six weeks. During that time, we will literally “pick” our child from a selection of photographs of children who match our prerequisites. We are requesting a healthy little girl (but will accept a little boy) who is between the age of 14 months and 24 months. Ashton turned two in October of 2006, so we want to maintain the birth order of our children. Under Ukrainian law, the adoption of a child under 14 months is not allowed unless the parents are Ukrainian citizens.
The most important prayer request of all is for our child. Please pray that when our appointment day arrives, we will be shown the child that God has picked for us and that Jason and I will both know who this little person is without a doubt. Once we select a child, we will then be transported to her orphanage to visit with her. After visiting with her, if we decide that she is indeed the child for us, then a court date is scheduled. If you are wondering what we will do if we don’t like the child for some reason, we do have the option of visiting with another child and adopting her.
There are two very discouraging aspects of this process – being away from Ashton and knowing that in all likelihood, our little girl (or boy) is across the world without a Mommy or Daddy. My arms literally ache for this child. When a child is conceived within you, the love you have for that child grows with you. When a child is adopted, the love grows within the heart and is faceless but ever so strong. Please pray that each night, God will descend from heaven and rock our precious child to sleep. This may seem odd to you, but I pray daily that God will allow our little girl to see our faces each night so that she will know that we are coming as fast as we can and that we love her. This little poem says it all:
I hope you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are…what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
-------- Author Unknown
Some children think babies come from storks, but for Ashton, his little brother or sister will arrive from an airplane! For those of you who don’t know, Ashton is fixated by airplanes and begs his PaPa to take him to the airport whenever possible. How fitting for an airplane to bring his little sibling across the world to share in all of our lives.
I know I’ve taken-up a lot of your time, however it is important to us that you are aware of the expansion of our family and that you play a very valuable role in helping us to pray for a blessed adoption with the way made smooth. We ask that you share our requests with your other family members so that they too can pray and share in this experience. Hopefully, we will travel before the end of this year!
We are very open about this journey and would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have or just share more about how we arrived at our decision to adopt. Please note that although we are not expanding our family by traditional methods, adoption is by no means “Plan B” for us. Before we ever got married, Jason and I discussed adoption and how we wanted to have at least one of our own and adopt…you see, God always prepares us for what is ahead even when we don’t realize it. My heart condition isn’t an ailment that is restricting my life but a twist in the road that brings us to our appointed path in life. Thank you for listening to our story and sharing in our journey.
I’m writing to let you know of a very special event in our family – Jason and I are in the midst of adopting a child from Ukraine. As we scurry around to complete paperwork, meet with our social worker, and deal with international bureaucracy, we are reminded that God has set us out on this journey and will be with us to enjoy the end result – a child to cradle in our arms and love forever. However, this journey is not just ours, it is yours as well. Although you will not physically travel across the world with us, you will definitely be in our hearts and on our minds. Throughout this process, we have come to realize just how special you are to us and to our children. Miles may keep us apart but our hearts are quilted together by the hand of God, for He chose that we should share the same bloodline but even more, share our love and lives – that’s what makes us family.
Preparing for this adoption extends to your home as well as to ours. It is important for us to know that you too will embrace this child, who although will not share our physical traits or the blood that runs through our veins but will share our in our lives and most importantly, our love and commitment to each other. Some of you may be asking, “Why adopt?” or “Why adopt internationally?” The answers are simple, because God has placed a very special calling on our life to do so. There is no rhyme or reason as to why Ukraine except that God has opened door after door and continuously tugged at our heartstrings. It is our hope that after learning more of our story, you too will feel a tugging at your heartstrings that cannot be denied and long for the day when you too can embrace the newest member of our family.
Now, we have something to ask of you…we need your prayers. Dealing with a foreign government can be very difficult – especially emotionally. Laws change constantly, so nothing is ever for certain. Due to black market baby scandals, Ukraine’s international adoption program has just reopened this year. The adoption process has been completely revised and is still being “tweaked” as the days pass. We are waiting on our passports and a specific form that allows our child to become a U.S. citizen once he or she touches U.S. soil. We are asking that you covenant with us to pray that the both the U.S. and Ukraine governments cooperate and are speedy in completing their portion of the paperwork.
We are also requesting that you pray for each and every individual who has played or will play a part in the adoption process. At this time, we are finalizing our paperwork and preparing to send it to Ukraine for translation and review. If our application is approved (a huge prayer request), we will then receive an invitation to travel. The duration of our stay in Ukraine will be approximately four to six weeks. During that time, we will literally “pick” our child from a selection of photographs of children who match our prerequisites. We are requesting a healthy little girl (but will accept a little boy) who is between the age of 14 months and 24 months. Ashton turned two in October of 2006, so we want to maintain the birth order of our children. Under Ukrainian law, the adoption of a child under 14 months is not allowed unless the parents are Ukrainian citizens.
The most important prayer request of all is for our child. Please pray that when our appointment day arrives, we will be shown the child that God has picked for us and that Jason and I will both know who this little person is without a doubt. Once we select a child, we will then be transported to her orphanage to visit with her. After visiting with her, if we decide that she is indeed the child for us, then a court date is scheduled. If you are wondering what we will do if we don’t like the child for some reason, we do have the option of visiting with another child and adopting her.
There are two very discouraging aspects of this process – being away from Ashton and knowing that in all likelihood, our little girl (or boy) is across the world without a Mommy or Daddy. My arms literally ache for this child. When a child is conceived within you, the love you have for that child grows with you. When a child is adopted, the love grows within the heart and is faceless but ever so strong. Please pray that each night, God will descend from heaven and rock our precious child to sleep. This may seem odd to you, but I pray daily that God will allow our little girl to see our faces each night so that she will know that we are coming as fast as we can and that we love her. This little poem says it all:
I hope you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are…what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.
-------- Author Unknown
Some children think babies come from storks, but for Ashton, his little brother or sister will arrive from an airplane! For those of you who don’t know, Ashton is fixated by airplanes and begs his PaPa to take him to the airport whenever possible. How fitting for an airplane to bring his little sibling across the world to share in all of our lives.
I know I’ve taken-up a lot of your time, however it is important to us that you are aware of the expansion of our family and that you play a very valuable role in helping us to pray for a blessed adoption with the way made smooth. We ask that you share our requests with your other family members so that they too can pray and share in this experience. Hopefully, we will travel before the end of this year!
We are very open about this journey and would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have or just share more about how we arrived at our decision to adopt. Please note that although we are not expanding our family by traditional methods, adoption is by no means “Plan B” for us. Before we ever got married, Jason and I discussed adoption and how we wanted to have at least one of our own and adopt…you see, God always prepares us for what is ahead even when we don’t realize it. My heart condition isn’t an ailment that is restricting my life but a twist in the road that brings us to our appointed path in life. Thank you for listening to our story and sharing in our journey.
