Ashton's Bombshell

On our way home from church tonight, Ashton said something that really broke my heart. He stated, "Mommy love Sissy more." I could have cried - actually, I did. We have been very open with Ashton about the adoption process and how he is going to have a new sibling. He typically does pretty well and can even point to Ukraine on the map. I never expected Ashton to make a statement of that nature. We love him so much and always dote on him. I just can't imagine how horrible it is going to be to be separated from him for such a long period of time. When he gets ready to go to bed at night, he says that he needs his Mommy and he needs his Daddy - what's he going to think when we are gone? I only wish he could comprehend how much he is truly loved!

Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic

This morning, we attended a seminar hosted by the Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic. The speakers consisted of a pediatrician, therapist, and psychologist - all of whom were very informative. They will work in conjunction with our pediatrician, Dr. Eastham, to diagnose and effectively treat our new child for any ailments. Our child will have a cursory exam in Ukraine when applying for a Visa, however more in-depth testing is recommended. In order for a child to be eligible for international adoption, a medical condition must be diagnosed, therefore many children receive very creative diagnoses but are actually relatively healthy by our standards. We want our child to receive the best possible diagnosis and treatment options available, therefore we do anticipate utilizying the clinic's services.

One interesting tidbit of information that we received is that our new child will more than likely not respond to falls or injuries like Ashton does. For example, if the child falls, he or she may jump-up and state that he is okay when in reality what he really needs is TLC. Children raised in orphanages have learned to self-soothe and rely mostly on themselves because caregivers do not have time to give them the TLC that they crave. When Ashton takes a minor fall, we tell him that he's okay and he's a big boy - he doesn't think anything about it. Our new child will need to be paid attention to because he or she has never had that type of attention. This will be one way in which we hope to bond with our child. Think about it, this child is leaving the only life that he or she knows and is entering a whole new world of strangers - he or she doesn't know who to trust, much less love.

http://www.vanderbiltinternationaladoption.com/

Airline Reservations

Until now, it has seemed as if we were living a dream and still in the paperchase process. We have just reserved our airline tickets with Delta. We used the services of Kathy Henry with All Direct Travel to obtain the best rates - she's been wonderful! Well, we will be flying out of Nashville, into New York, and then on to Kiev on November 10th!

Follow-up Letter to Family

Today, we mailed follow-up letters to our immediate family and then separate letters to our extended family and friends who have been so supportive of the adoption. I'm posting the follow-up letter (which was very similar to that received by extended family and friends) because several people online have asked to read it. After joining a couple of online Ukrainian adoption groups, I began to realize that a lot of people have experienced difficulty in explaining why they chose international over domestic adoption and in handling derogatory remarks about their choice to adopt. I think our social worker had a great idea when she suggested the letters because they have served as a way for people to better understand the decision and process without feeling too nosy and even more so, they have helped to eliminate derogatory remarks because people understand why we chose to adopt. Hopefully, these letters can help other families in their adoption journey.

FAMILY LETTER #2:

This letter delivers very exciting news – our adoption application has been approved by Ukraine officials! We are scheduled to leave for Ukraine on November 10th! So far, the adoption process has transpired very smoothly – of course, we all prayed that God’s hand wouldn’t lift from our paperwork. The Eastern European director at America World (our agency) stated that she has never seen anything like it – our homestudy was completed in record time, U.S. officials have processed our paperwork with unheard of fast timing; and our application was submitted to Ukraine in less than one month (Ukraine only accepts a maximum of 8 American applications each Monday)! The director stated that when God works in our lives, He moves mountains. Prayers work!

Once we arrive in Ukraine, we will have an appointment with Ukraine adoption officials. During that appointment, we will be shown a selection of approximately two to six photographs and biographies. We must “pick” our child from those photographs. Oftentimes, the photos are at least a year old and do not accurately reflect the appearance of the child today. The medical and background information will be very sketchy and not all that reliable. As such, we will be hiring a physician who specializes in international adoptions to assist us in determining the correct medical condition of the child we select to visit. If after visiting with the child, we do not think that he or she is an appropriate match or that the medical conditions are severe, we will have another opportunity to visit with another child.

We can only imagine what you are thinking – how are we going to “pick” a child? We keep asking ourselves that very question! That’s where you come in. Please begin praying now that on the day of our appointment (November 14th), God will lead us to the child that He has created for us. We will have only minutes – literally – to decide upon a child. There will be very little time for discussion back and forth, so we are completely relying on God’s guidance in that when we see the picture and hear the bio, we will know without a doubt which child to choose. We know that God’s presence is very real in this adoption – He will lead us if allowed to do so.

The other thing that we ask is that you also begin praying for the length of our stay. The average in-country stay is four to six weeks, however Ukraine has now mandated a new type of passport. Like the U.S. government, Ukraine was not prepared for the backlog that the new regulations created. Unfortunately, some families have been forced to stay an additional six weeks in order to receive the correct documentation so that their newly adopted child can leave the country. Nissan will allow Jason time to travel overseas, however he may have to return to the U.S. earlier than Erica does in order to return to work. We are not stressing about this right now because we know that God’s hand is in this adoption and that He will provide - He has shown that to us time and time again! Please join us in praying in that between now and November, Ukraine will get caught-up with issuing passports so that we can get back to the States in record time!

We are so very excited about the calling that God has placed on our family – don’t forget that the calling also extends to you. We can’t wait to introduce our newest child to everyone. We’re also wondering how Ashton is going to react to a new little brother or sister! By the way, instead of Ashton having to pack-up and move to his grandparent’s house during our journey abroad, he is going to be able to continue living at our house (with a caretaker, of course) while we are away – another prayer answered!

Another little tidbit of news is that I (Erica) am no longer inflicted with heart disease! After undergoing further testing in July, it was determined that my heart is now functioning well within normal limits and is no longer enlarged. My cardiologist literally cried when he gave me the report. He said that whereas I have been on medication for less than one year, there is no medical explanation for my hasty recovery, therefore the recovery can only be attributed to the work of God. He said that he just couldn’t understand why God would allow me to undergo such a serious ailment only to heal my body a year later – I told him that I knew why. There is a child across the world who needs a home, and that had I not undergone this illness, we would not have begun the adoption journey at this point in our lives. The phone line was quiet after this comment, and then the comment was made by my cardiologist – “To God be the glory!” We would “Amen” that comment!

Thank you for all your support, encouragement, and prayers during the last several months and in the months to come. It is so encouraging to know that we are not undergoing this amazing, and yet scary, experience alone!