Friday, December 21, 2007

Update from America World

I received a phone call and two e-mails from America World today. This morning, there was a rather large meeting in Ukraine that was comprised of SDA (adoption center) officials and facilitators with families waiting for second appointments. There are approximately 125 families waiting for second appointments at this time. At this time, the SDA plans to invites families for second appointments between 1/14/08 and 2/29/08. It is unknown whether or not families will travel to adopt a specific child or if families will be shown profiles once they arrive at the SDA (this is how the 1st appointment operates). We are hoping that we will travel for a specific child because we do not want to be faced with very sick children again. It was gut-wrenching for the children to call us Momma and Papa when we knew that we could not adopt them!
Our facilitator has another meeting on Monday, 12/24/07, to discuss more details about the second appointment process. At this time, we know that we will have to pay to re-do quite a few documents and medical tests, so I know what I will be doing the first of the year! Please pray earnestly for good news and for God's guidance both for families waiting and Ukraine officials. We will receive a phone call sometime Monday with more details after Yuri's meeting. We'll keep you posted, but until then please PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

We were supposed to fly home with our child today :(

Today has been a difficult day for us. After Jason left to go to work, Ashton woke-up and climbed into bed with me. I thought he was going back to sleep, however his little brain was in overdrive. He said, "Mommy, when are you going to get sissy?" Neither Jason nor I even mentioned last night that if the adoption had gone smoothly, we would be arriving back in the US tonight. I guess in Ashton's heart, he is longing for his sibling just like us. Maybe this seems extreme to some people, but we have prayed so hard for this little child, love him or her so deeply, and have experienced such a roller coaster ride, that not to be able to express our love to the newest member of our family hurts more than words can express. When God calls you to adopt, He places a love and desire in your heart that is not understood by most who have not also felt that calling. Have you ever heard anyone say, "I couldn't love a child who was not my own?" I think as parents, when you have your own child, it is hard to imagine a more powerful love than that which you have for your natural child - from the very time of his or her known existence in the womb. In order to love a child not from your womb just as much as a biological, that love comes from God and is just as strong and deep as that of a natural child. If you have children, just imagine what it would feel like if your child was across the world and you were completely separated from him or her - wouldn't you long to be united together?

I can't help but think about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and what she must have felt all those centuries ago. She loved the child growing within her yet she must have been scared, excited, and overwhelmed all at once - emotions that we too are experiencing over the child that God is going to bless us with. God held her hand through it all and provided her with comfort. How her heart must have longed to hold the Holy child growing within her womb and then the day came when she wept as she held the lifeless body that had been tortured for no sins that He had commited. I am in no way trying to compare our child to Christ, but I can't help but to compare the emotions about looking upon our child's face for the first time.

Before starting our day, Ashton and I talked about when we would leave again to go back to Ukraine. He said that he wasn't going to cry and that he wants to be at the airport when "sissy comes to 'Merica". He also wants his cousins there, so he called them each by name. Right before we got up, he said, "I love my sissy, Mommy." Needless to say, my eyes were far from dry!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Stocking space just for our Ukrainian Blessing



"Look, Sissy, next year you will have a stocking on our family placard! We saved room just for you!"

Hangin' In There





The love and support that we have experienced throughout this adoption experience has been and continues to be absolutely overwhelming. Thank you to each and every person who has prayed for us, expressed a tender smile, shed a tear, and just been there with us and for us. Some of you, we may never meet or even know you are out there following our journey, but we thank you for your support and most of all, prayers.



We're not going to tell you that everything is just fine and that we don't have a care in the world. It is amazing the roller coaster of emotions that we experience daily. Even down to little Ashton, he doesn't understand why his sibling is still in Ukraine. On more than one occasion, he has asked me, "God with sissy?" Sometimes it's easy to overlook that Ashton longs for his sibling just as much as we do. He may only be three, but we have tried to prepare him for our extended stay in Ukraine and how God has a sibling just for him. Just this weekend, he asked if Santa was going to come see Julianna and who was going to love her because she doesn’t have a Mommy.



At daycare, Mrs. Cindy prepared a placard for each family with a stocking for each family member. She placed three stockings on ours and labeled each one. Ashton was quick to point-out that the empty place was for sissy’s stocking. Mrs. Cindy included the extra stocking so that when the time comes, our family plaque will be complete. The empty spot where Julianna’s stocking is supposed to hang very much resembles how we feel right now. It’s like there is an empty spot in our hearts. We all love our new child and feel very sad that she is in an orphanage without a family to love her. In our minds, we know that God has His own timing and that it is perfect, however our hearts are aching.



We’re filling our days with Ashton and making memories. So often, we taken children for granted. It is so frustrating when we see people having children and not caring about them. We think, why can that person have children and we can’t? As a mother, I cannot imagine not loving or caring for your child. Just this morning, while Ashton was sleeping, I held him in my arms, kissed his little head, and thanked God for the wonderful blessing that He gave us in Ashton. I want him to grow-up knowing that he is unconditionally loved. I long to show our new child that same love that Ashton and many of us so often take for granted.



I know that we aren’t supposed to question God or be selfish in our prayers, however it’s easy to get wrapped-up in wanting answers as to why didn’t things work out the first time appointment, how are we going to leave Ashton again, will we receive a good referral, etc. We’re trying to focus on the present and leave all our anxiety and questions at the foot of the cross, however it is a constant struggle because we want to be able to fix everything right now and have immediate answers. Right now, our hearts are breaking and we are longing for another child to share our lives and love with. Comfort comes only through reading God’s Word.



“I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. “
Psalm 121: 1-4

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Literally Feeling the Touch of God

No matter how many potholes we endured during our trip to Ukraine, we are able to look back and smile. We don't understand why we had to travel for 12 days only to return home without a child, but we are at peace with this. Don't get me wrong, when we got back to the hotel after visiting with the children, we were distraught mentally, emotionally, and physically. Jason and I both just sat down on our beds and cried. We're not supposed to question God, however we did on that night. We have prayed so earnestly about this adoption and God has moved so many mountains and opened doors that were seemingly shut, that to this day, we do not doubt that our child is waiting in Ukraine. Sometimes we encounter life events or challenges that just don't seem to make sense, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we took the wrong path or stepped outside of God's will. Oftentimes, it's during those challenges that we grow - Jason and I have certainly grown closer together but more importantly, closer to God. We do not regret our trip.

On Monday, after we went to the SDA and were told that we had to wait up to three months for another appointment, we went to the local Delta office and secured our flight back to the States. I waited for it to become daylight in Tennessee, then I called my parents. It shocked me when I heard the sadness in my mother's voice. I asked her why she sounded so upset and disappointed because Jason and I were alright and at peace. I simply told her that our child just isn't ready yet. Mom has since told me that she thought, if they are at peace, then I have to be at peace and she prayed for just that. Once again, God answered her prayers and delivered peace to her as well.

Some of you may be asking how we can be okay with spending so much money and traveling to Europe only to return to the US empty handed. Even more importantly, you may be thinking that God let us down or didn't answer our prayers. Well, God did and is still answering our prayers. He certainly didn't let us down. Just because we didn't get another appointment date right off, doesn't mean that God doesn't care or didn't hear us. Sometimes, He wants us to wait. We can't always see the big picture, but He can. We are confident that in His time, we will be granted a child - oh, what a day that will be!

On Friday, November 16, after we visited the orphanage, before we settled in for the night, we spent private time in devotion. The devotion centered around the fact that God never makes a promise that He will not keep. We also read about faith. The following passage in our study guide really hit home: "Faith should be practiced more than studied. Vance Havner said, ' Nothing is more disastrous than to study faith, analyze faith, make noble resolves of faith, but never actually to make the leap of faith.' How true!" It was at that point, that we dried our eyes and turned our faces upward. We asked God to use our adoption story to help others. We committed our "story" to Him and promised to share our struggles and achievements as God leads us. Looking back, we should have done that in the beginning, but then again, doesn't being in a steep ravine force us to look up?

On Monday, November 19, before we went to the SDA, our devotion centered around the passage about not worrying that is found in Matthew 6:25-34. We also read about God's timing. The passages included:

  • "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14 NKJV
  • "He said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority.'" Acts 1:7 Holman CSB
  • The Faith Builder of the day: Trust God's Timing. God has very big plans in store for your life, so trust Him and wait patiently for those plans to unfold. And remember: God's timing is best, so don't allow yourself to become discouraged if things don't work out exactly as you wish. Instead of worrying about you future, entrust it to God.

Throughout our stay in Ukraine, God never left us for a moment. Actually, there were times when we could literally feel His hands upon our shoulders guiding us. We have never felt God's presence so strongly as when we were in Ukraine. For all of you who prayed, we felt your prayers! When we were standing in the Customs interrogation room, we felt God's arms, literally I could feel pressure and a sense of peace passed over me. I knew that we were going to board that plane with all of our belongings intact. When our flaps didn't work on the plane while trying to land in Nashville, once again I felt His arms around me and not once did I think about complications (even with emergency vehicles all over the runway) - we knew we were going to land safely. When we were weeping in the hotel room after the orphanage visit, His presence was evident. Don't ever doubt the power of prayer!

Meet our Facilitator: Yuri




This is Yuri, our facilitator. He is acting like our attorney in the adoption process. He submits all the necessary paperwork, advises us when necessary, and holds our hands throughout the process. So far, he has worked well with us! His English is very good, and he's very easy to talk to, so that helped us during our stay in Ukraine. He is also quite the ladies' man, so that was a definite plus for us (or at least that's the way it appears). In the adoption world, most of the officials are female, so it is very beneficial to be working with a young man who the ladies seem to swoon over!

On the way back to the U.S., Yuri traveled with us as far as New York. He was headed to Richmond, Virginia to spend several days with a family that he helped to adopt 3 boys earlier this year. His traveling with us was another disguised blessing.

When we were trying to leave Ukraine, we experienced difficulty leaving Ukraine. If Yuri had not been with us to assist us in working out the situation and translating, we would still be in Ukraine right now awaiting a court date. It was all a misunderstanding stemming from culture and language barriers, however it was a rather frustrating and frightening experience. We certainly do not want to re-experience that event again! I know I'm not providng detail, but just know that when we thought things couldn't get any worse, they did! We were and still are so thankful that God put Yuri on the same flight back to the US with us!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Coming home without Ashton's Sissy

When we arrived in Nashville, we had more trouble - the flaps wouldn't work on the airplane. We circled the airport for about 20 minutes trying to burn fuel so that we could land safely. Of course, there's nothing like looking out the window and seeing emergency crews around the plane. Once again, God kept us safe and gave us peace that everything was going to be okay.


When we walked through the terminal, Ashton was holding Leigh's hand and waiting for us. He wouldn't come near us because he didn't think it was really us. Leigh had to give him a little push and say, "There's Mommy and Daddy!" He did come to us, however behaved very shyly. We kissed him all over. After the kisses, he looked into my eyes and dropped a bombshell, "Where's my sissy?" You can only imagine how awful Jason and I felt at that moment. My parents had tried to explain to Ashton that we were going to have to return to Ukraine because sissy wasn't ready to come to "Merica" yet, however he still doesn't fully understand.


My sister-in-law, Denise, also has a 3 year old, Hannah, who is asking questions about her new cousin. Denise compared the situation with going to the store to buy bananas and the store being out. They have to make a trip another day to buy bananas. Hannah understood but Ashton didn't appreciate the analogy very much.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

"It would break my heart," said Ashton Reed.

In Ukraine, there are a lot more boys available than there are girls. Yuri told us that for every 1 female orphane, there are 9 male orphanes. Well, we want a female under the age of 36 months. From the beginning, Ashton has also asked for a "sissy" as he refers to his new sibling. After church today, we were at McDonald's and talking to Ashton about our having to return to Ukraine. I told him that God may not have a sissy for him but may instead have a brother. When asked how he would feel about that, he replied, "It would break my heart." We were in awe at the comment from a newly-turned 3 year old.


We are sincerely praying that God will bless our family with a little girl. While we were in Ukraine, the boys were consistently pushed at us and the age range was increased. God tells us to pray specifically and to ask for the desires of our heart, therefore we are praying for a healthy little girl under 36 months. I certainly don't want Ashton's heart broken!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Last Days in Kyiv

We are spending our last two days in Kyiv just exploring the city. It is an absolutely beautiful city. There is a huge underground mall that is very easy to get lost inside of - trust us, we've gotten turned around quite a few times. It seems like we are going to the market quite frequently for water - that's where we are headed next. We are trying to keep our groceries to a minimum (mostly water, bread, and ham). We did buy one bag of chips that we thought were barbeque but ended-up being bacon flavored - quite tasty, a shame that they are not marketed by Lays in the US.

We blend-in pretty well until we open our mouths and speak. We have learned to walk fast and plow ahead with the rest of the people walking around the street and in the tunnels under the roads. It is really neat how people have twins across the world. Yesterday, we saw a man who looked like Bud Miller walking across the road from TGI Fridays. At the orphanage, the senior medical assistant looked, walked, and had mannerisms just like Christy Moore who used to attend Northside. We both looked at each other and smiled when seeing these people because we were thinking the same thing - twins across the world!

Now, off to find some lunch and back to the apartment. I am totally out of books to read, so I'll be ready to head to the library when I get back home. Jason has found a channel that is totally in Ukrainian but shows scary murder movies - he is fascinated with the shows and has been watching the channel for going on 2 days now.

Oh, Jason isn't feeling very well today, so please pray for him. It has been cold here, so I think he is getting a cold.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 19, 2007

What to Expect the 2nd Trip

For all of you wondering, this is what Yuri told us to expect during the second trip:

When Yuri contacts us again, he will have information about the child that the SDA has selected for us. We should not have to be concerned about significant health delays because the second appointment is structured so that you are pretty much guaranteed a child who matches your request. If the child is not adopted at the second appointment, then that's it - no more chances to see another child. This is the reason for the delay between appointments because the SDA is supposed to match you with a child (seems like this is the way it should have been on the first appointment, but then again no one asked us how the system should operate). If Yuri determines that the child is a good fit, then he will contact us and offer us the opportunity to visit. At this point in time, we may have anywhere between one and three weeks to prepare to travel. Can you just imagine how much we will run around during this period of time? At least we will be able to prepare somewhat for the child and not come home and have to do nothing but run and try to buy clothes and pull-ups or diapers. The room can be ready as well (more gender specific and not just green and white).

Yuri said that another area to pray about is that the child be located in a region in which the 10 day waiting period can be waived. After court, there is a 10 day waiting period in which the child remains in the orphanage and we will visit each day - a lot of time to read and twirl our fingers. In some regions, this period can be waived, however this only happens in 5% of adoptions. Still, God is good!

We were told to expect to be in region anywhere from 4 to 5 weeks on the next trip. It is possible to get everything done in 3 weeks but that can prove very challenging. At least with the later appointment, maybe the new child and Ashton won't be as close together in age.

Now, a recap of prayer requests:
1. Health little girl under 36 months
2. 10-day waiting period be waived
3. VERY quick in-country stay

Please pass these prayer requests along to all prayer warriors. We have definitely felt the hand of God on us throughout this adventure. Next trip, we will know more what to expect, so hopefully we can relax a little more and enjoy the ride (hopefully a smooth trip and not a roller-coaster like this trip!). Honestly, we are sad that we won't be flying home with a little one on Thursday, however we are excited about the child that God has waiting for us. I have read the blogs of so many other families who have had to wait for a second appointment and each one has stated that they wouldn't change a thing because had they received a good referral the first time, they would not have the child that they love as their own now.

We know God is still in control and just because we are coming home empty-handed per se now, our hearts are full and our hands won't be empty too terribly much longer! One thing is for sure, this trip has taught us what it truly means to be in a situation that only God can control, what it truly means to love and be loved, and the power of prayer.

We're Heading Back to America on Thursday

We just got back from the SDA and was told that there are 90 families waiting for second appointments for children under the age of 3. I guess we are family #91! We went to the local Delta office and changed our flight reservations. We asked to arrive in America on the first possible plane! We are leaving midday Thursday and will arrive in Nashville around 9:45 p.m. on Thursday. Fortunately we will gain a day by flying back home, and we will definitely need the extra hours to help ease some of the jetlag.

We are okay. The only time that I can truly remember pouring my heart out to God in such an intense manner is when I was praying for His healing power over my mother's cancer - he answered prayers then and is answering them still. We were told to expect a call from Yuri in about a month. The SDA will contact him with information about our child when it becomes available. At the next appointment, we will only be presented one child but it is supposed to be a healthy child (let's all pray for a girl). Yuri will be able to tell us the child's name, age, orphanage location, and medical information when he contacts us again. At least we will be able to prepare for the coming of this child instead of traveling blind - very, very difficult. We are excited, yes, excited! We know that right now, our child just isn't ready to join our family (for one reason or another). We will be able to spend the holidays with our family in America and enjoy all the festivities that come with this time of year. When our child is ready, God will beckon us back to Ukraine.

We are SO ready to head home. This has been a rather overwhelming experience. Yes, we have definitely experienced culture shock. If nothing else, this journey has helped to bring all of us closer to Christ and to each other. Our families have come together and cared for our child and grown closer together. We have found ourselves in a valley in which the walls were so steep that there was absolutely no way out and then God held his hand down to us and pulled us from the muck! There is so much in America that we take for granted even down to the little things like cleanliness, grape jelly, free refills at restaurants, etc. This Thanksgiving, take a moment to thank God for even the smallest of blessings.

It looks like we will be staying at Elvis' love shack for a few more days. When we get back home, I will update the blog with photos. We haven't really been able to take a lot of photos because it has been dark when we've had the opportunity to sightsee and it is not proper to take photos of most of the churches, trains, landmarks, etc. I do know one thing, we don't care if we EVER see another snowflake!

Holland Family, bring warm clothes! For our next trip, which we are excited about, we will pack MUCH differently. We brought 2 medium sized suitcases and a dufflebag - not next time! We won't bring a laptop next time, only 3 sets of clothes, no diapers, and quiet, mundane toys for the orphanages (not toys that make music or light-up like our agency encouraged because those scare the children). What we WILL DO is tie some funky looking ribbon or cloth around the handles of our luggage for easy identification at the airport. We had VIP service at the airport, and you should have seen the Ukrainian man trying to climb through the luggage tunnel to find our rather ordinary looking bags! Ribbon or cloth is a definite must for easy identification!

Thank you, everyone, for all the prayers, support, and comments. You have NO idea how wonderful it is to log-on and be able to hear from family and friends! Honestly, on some days, that really helped us to make it through. At times, it was hard to read the screen because both of us were trying to do so through tear-filled eyes! We miss everyone so much. If we don't get a chance to update before we get home - see you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

For those of you with appointments (Holland Family)

We are praying SO much for your appt. date. Please don't be discouraged by our journey because God has His hand on your journey and will provide - He will provide for us as well in His time. There is another family here from TN who had an appt. date on Wednesday as well and they received a referral for a 20 mos. little boy who is fine. Just because we have had a bad experience does not mean that your experience will be bad - keep the faith!

Just some tidbit that we want to pass along:


  • It's okay to wear jeans, we are practically the only ones not wearing them!
  • Bring Oust and Lysol, you will use both. The odors here (especially coming up from the toilets) is quite different from at home!
  • You can buy most anything here in Kiev.
  • Diapers and Pull-ups are easily bought here. If you have a hard time, ask Yuri to take you to the market behind the apt. on Gorky Street.
  • Bring lots of jelly packets like you get from Hardees. Yuri didn't know what jelly or jam was and what we bought didn't really taste that good.
  • Bring just a few napkins with you in case your apartment does not have any and you can't make it to the market
  • Toilet paper is plentiful. Maybe just bring one roll with you for emergencies.
  • LOTS of hand sanitizer that fits into your purse.
  • Just bring 3 pairs of pants and shirts - don't pack a lot, they rewear everything!
  • Bring warm scarf, glove, and mittens! Don't wait until you get here to buy scarves!
  • Keep bottled water with you at all times.
  • Bring babywipes on the trains because the bathrooms are NASTY!!!!
  • No need to bring a hot pot - there has been one in every apartment so far.
  • Bring plenty of nylon cord for clothesline - the suction cup lines do NOT work.
  • Bring a travel clock and iron. Most places have had hairdryers but we forgot our iron and clock!

You will adore Yuri! He is great to be around and very friendly. He will NEVER treat you like a dumb American.

We're praying for you!



By the way, we haven't experienced any holes in the ground for toilets - another prayer answered. Actually in all but one of our hotels, the bathrooms were actually MUCH nicer that ours at home! There is a slight odor that oftentimes comes-up through the sewage but that's nothing that a little Oust or scented Lysol can't remedy!

Also, be sure that Yuri takes you to The Arena for pizza. We loved the San Francisco pizza (pepperoni). The TGI Friday's is also good!

Have a wonderful trip and walk very, very fast. If you have to ride a train, be ready to run because when it is time to board, the people will flat run you over because the train loads very quickly and then leaves again. There is no stopping a Ukrainian who is on a mission to board a train - trust us!!!! Try to have fun and ejoy the ride (try to secure first class tickets if possible and prepare to wiggle on those long rides because there's not much padding for your rear!). Just have fun and consider this a journey, at night you will have something to laugh about from the day - trust us because with all the disappointments and horrible experiences, we have always had something that we could smile about.

Update on First Week - Ready to Return to America

It seems like a year has passed since we last updated you on our travel adventures. Well, here goes....We had our appointment this past Wednesday. Immediately we were told that only one child was available (definitely not a true statement) and that he is 12 months old and has had 2 surgeries on his bladder. His bladder does not function at all and he will have to wear diapers for the rest of his life. We patiently listened to the translator and psychologist and then asked to see more children. Things seemed to go downhill from there. We were shown children with Hep C, nonfunctioning livers, severe cerebral palsy, severe psychological delay and retardation, the list goes on. We decided to visit a set of sisters age 3 1/2 and 2. The youngest sister has a cleft palate and cleft lip but had had 2 surgeries to repair the lip but still needed surgery on the palate. Both girls were said to have the normal orphanage social and psychological delay but nothing serious. The older girl was said to suffer from hysterics which in our society means fussiness. The younger child was said to walk normally and speak according to her age level. We did not want to leave the appt. without at least agreeing to visit a child because the conditions may be better than expected. Okay, remember what I just told you because we confirmed all this before leaving the appt. with the SDA. Well, we left by train the next day at 4:30 p.m. to travel to the region of Keminski (sp?). We arrived around 9:00 p.m. on Thursday and checked into a hotel. The next morning, we met our translator in the lobby at 9:00 a.m. and headed to the inspector's office. The inspector is over all the orphanages in her region. She was very polite but seemed surprised that we wanted to visit these children. The senior medical associate from the orphanage happened to be at the inspector's office when we arrived, so she rode with us to the orphange. We met with the director and received more medical information about the girls. The meeting was very discouraging. Apparently, we were not given very accurate information at the SDA about the true condition of the girls. Both girls were severly handicapped and suffered from extreme psychological and social delays, had cerebral palsy, and hip dyplasia. The youngest child could not walk and could not talk at all. Our translator told us that she could not walk because of the surgery that she had had to repair her cleft lip (okay, since when does surgery on your mouth impair your ability to walk - this didn't make sense). The older child also has epilepsy. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. The children were very loving but these were not the children for us. We refused the referral and spent the remainder of the day traveling throughout the city trying to get our refusal paperwork notarized and signed by both the orphanage director and inspector. Both were very polite about our refusal and understood completely. The inspector said that the psychologist at the SDA should have informed us of all the medical conditions because had we not be told false information, we would not have spent the money and time to travel to the region. This has definitely been one of the WORST experiences of our life. It was heart-wrenching to be introduced as Momma and Papa and know that these were not our girls. We will never forget the hug that we received from the oldest child or how it felt when she waived goodbye and called us Momma and Papa.

We are now back in Kiev and facing a huge dilemna. Right now, families wanting a healthy child under the age of 3 are waiting up to 3 months for their next appointment. At the next appointment, it is said that we can rest assured that we will receive a "good" referral, however as you can probably imagine, Jason and I are very hesitant about what to expect because of how our first appointment went. We will be going to the SDA on Monday to hand-in our letter requesting another appointment. Our facilitator, Yuri, has been wonderful through all of this and understands completely. He said that on our appointment date this past Wednesday, he was sent to make photocopies of our dossier and was told that they were implementing a new rule in which facilitators could not be present in the meeting. Apparently, they were making sure that he was not present because he would have been able to read the medical report and urge us not to accept the referrals. Apparently, the SDA was determined to send us to a region one way or another.



PRAYER REQUEST: We need another appointment date within the next week or we will be returning to America without a child. If we have to return home and then travel again in 3 months, we may face difficulty with Nissan allowing Jason off for an extended period of time again. We both have to be present in Ukraine in order to select a child and attend court. PLEASE PRAY THAT WE GET A REFERRAL THIS WEEK - THIS MEANS THAT GOD WILL HAVE TO PERFORM A MIRACLE!

Yuri said that practically all of his families receive good referrals on the first visit and that he has not had a family in our situation. Kate, the Eastern European director at America World, has not seen a situation like this either. I cannot even begin to tell you how discouraged we are (not to mention homesick). We know that God is in ultimate control and that the SDA has no power that is greater than His, however I will tell you that our faith is certainly being tested!



We are having difficulty sleeping because our neighbors are up until 2 or 3 in the morning and having company. They talk very, very loudly and do not care that they are in the hallway right outside your door and practically yelling. For two nights straight we have had someone beat on our door late at night - we dare not open the door because we can't understand them! The dogs run rampant in Ukraine. We had read that taking a rabies shot was recommended however we had no idea at the number of dogs just roaming around - there was even a dog in the grocery store. When we were riding in a car in region visiting the orphanage, I saw an elderly lady being chased by a dog from the back with another one barking at her in the front (of course, no one stopped to help her). In the region, we saw people eating from trashcans. People also "rent" their children out to beggars on the street. We saw one last night in Kiev and she was holding a screaming child and wanting money. Yuri told us to keep walking because more likely than not, that was a rented child. It is absolutely amazing, and horrifying, the sights that we have seen.




It is very cold with snow and ice everywhere. It kills me how the ladies wear such spiked boots and never fall. I guess they are used to it, but we are very careful walking. We haven't ventured out much because we haven't had time. Today is the first day in which we really haven't had anything to do. We are now staying downtown Kiev in what I have termed Elvis' Love Shack. I wish we could post pictures because you would roll with laughter! Truly, the bedroom is the most posche sight you will ever behold (complete with irridescent stickers on the furniture). The thing is, where we are staying is supposed to be very, very nice and is pricey. It's clean and the sheets have been washed (that's more than we can say about one of our hotels wile in region visiting the orphanage).



PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR VISIT TO THE SDA TOMORROW. ASK EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO PRAY THAT GOD DESCENDS UPON UKRAINE LIKE HE HAS NEVER DONE BEFORE!



Thank you for all the comments. We love hearing from home! We miss you all dearly!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Our First Full Day in Ukraine

Well, it's Monday evening here and Yuri brought us to an internet cafe. We have just enjoyed a delightful meal in which I had pizza and Jason had borsch and enjoyed it very much. The city is very beautiful. It was snowing when we arrived in Kiev and continued until this morning. The city is not what we expected - I'm not really sure what we expected, but it's different nonetheless. The architecture is exquisite and the people, especially the women, are very beautiful and fashionable. Our apartment is wonderful and very spacious. The bathroom is even equipped with a garden tub and shower head - not at all what we were expected from some of the internet pictures we had viewed. We miss home tremendously, especially Ashton, but we know that God has brought us here for a purpose and everything will work out according to His will.

Our facilitator, Yuri, has been wonderful. His English is excellent and he is very easy to get along with - another prayer answered on this awesome journey. We made it through Customs in a whirlwind. We were greeted at the gate by a man holding a sign with our name and then we literally ran to keep-up with the people assisting us - once again, another blessing. The plane rides were uneventful - thankfully. We met a couple in Nashville who are here in Ukraine with us with an appointment date on Wednesday as well. On the ride from New York to Kiev, we were with a group of orphans who had been visiting in California. One little boy was supposed to sit beside me next to the window but was terrified. He looked at me and said, "No English! No English!" Jason switched seats with him and everything was fine. The food was great on the plane but they were trying to feed you everytime you turned around.

When we got to the apartment, Yuri took us to the market and we bought some ham, cheese, mayo, bread, bananas, and water. We exchanged some money and are now trying to figure-out their system. We are really excited to be able to experience Ukraine. We can't wait to see what God has in store for us next!

Thank you for all the posts, e-mails, and encouragment. We are having a wonderful time, and we can definitely feel your prayers. There is no doubt in our minds that we are not in God's will. We can't wait to see what blessings he has in store for us next!

Take care of the homefront!

Love,
Jason and Erica


Sunday, November 11, 2007

Leaving for Ukraine


We didn't go to bed until about 1:00 a.m. on Saturday morning and had to be up by 5:00 a.m. Jason's parents and sister, Denise, with her children, arrived shortly after 6:00 a.m. to wish us farewell. My parents and Leigh arrived shortly thereafter. My Dad and Leigh took us to the airport. It was horrible leaving Ashton, at least it was for us. He didn't shed a tear, but he knows where we are going and why. My parents stated that he has asked about us about why we had to go get "sissy" but he is doing great. We miss him terribly. I cried constantly - imagine that. We packed 2 suitcases and 1 large carry-on and a laptop bag - we are loaded down. Most of the "stuff" is food or things we will leave behind on the way home. Saturday was a very difficult day in all aspects - mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.


You won't believe how much our lunch cost in the JFK airport - $27.00. We had two small bottled waters, two ham sandwiches, and a side salad that was smaller than the palm of my hand! Jason said the salad tasted like grass, however he ate it because he said it was too expensive to waste.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Two Weeks To Go

This has been a rather trying weekend for our family. This was our last "free" weekend before we leave for Ukraine! We had a rather long list of stores to visit and "stuff" to buy. Jason was supposed to move plants from our house to his mother's basement but the weather didn't cooperate, so he'll have to work that activity into his rather packed schedule. The plan was for Ashton to stay with his PaPa Tudor, however he wouldn't let us out of his sight - he knows something big is about to happen.

I started the day with tears because it hit me that in two weeks, we will be away from Ashton. I know that it is our choice not to take him with us, however we have sincerely prayed about this decision and feel that is the best choice to make...that doesn't mean it's easy. Because of his young age, he may not be allowed into court and there is a chance that the orphanage will not allow him to visit on the premises. If he can't be with us at all times, then who will watch him? I certainly am not leaving my child with a stranger! Our hearts are breaking because we know that it will be awful to be apart. When we arrived at my parents' house on Saturday morning, Jason warned them that I was hormonal - thanks.

Although we will be gone for six weeks, we have to pack very lightly. We can only take enough clothes for 5 days! YIKES!! I had to repeatedly remind my mother and sister of this fact as we shopped this weekend because they have the idea that I need to layer - that means more clothes to pack and no can do.

For those of you who know me well, I'm a list person and everything must be organized. I'm doing my best not to forget something but I just have this sinking fear that I will! Have you ever tried to buy diapers and pull-ups for a child you don't know?! I struggled with what to buy and did the best I could. We were told that our child may be potty trained but will need pull-ups for the ride home. The problem is, pull-ups cannot be bought in Ukraine, so we have to guess at sizes - so very frustrating but fun at the same time.

On Sunday, the tears started again at the end of Sunday School and wouldn't stop until the close of the service. It was like someone turned on the water, and I couldn't turn it back off. Bro. Ken was preaching about fears and phobias - certainly nothing to cry about. There were visitors behind me, so they probably thought that I had lost my mind. I literally could not stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks...it was awful. My maternal hormones are out-the-roof right now!

When we were in small groups in Sunday School, Jason made the comment that we are at peace with the adoption but we're wrecks about leaving Ashton. I hadn't quite thought about it like that before but he's right. For the first time, I stopped long enough to realize that I do have peace that God has our child picked-out. We're not even worried about the flight overseas. Looking back, God's hand is evident throughout the journey. Don't we serve an awesome God!

Monday, October 15, 2007

First Toys for Our New Child

Today during my lunch break, I went to Big Lots and just poked around. I purchased a few toys for our new child! Because we do not know the specific age or even gender for the child that God has selected to join our family, we have not been able to buy very much at all for the child. We can't even buy diapers because the child may already be potty trained - children in orphanages are often trained very early due to the limited resources to buy diapers. Not being able to prepare for the child's arrival home is difficult. I actually feel rather guilty because when I was pregnant with Ashton, I shopped constantly for clothes, nursery decorations, and toys. This little child hardly has anything original because we don't know what to buy!

About two weeks ago, I had a phone conference with America World's Eastern European director, Kate, and she said that we needed to purchase toys for our child. She said that the toys in the orphanage are very boring and basic. The children generally love toys that move and make sounds. The biggest problem is trying to determine what toys to buy and where to pack them.

What did I buy? First, I found an Elmo doll with a small blankie sewn to Elmo's hand. I thought that he or she might find Elmo comforting to sleep or snuggle with. Next, I bought a round, bouncy cow that shakes and makes all sorts of noise. The last toy was a dog riding in a car that plays music and rolls across the floor. Between the dog and cow, I was about to go crazy on the drive home because every bump I hit activated the toys. No doubt about it, if the child loves toys that move and make sounds, he or she will love the cow and dog!

Toilet Facilities in Ukraine





While trying to figure-out what to pack, I received a lot of interesting advice from parents who have traveled before us. After looking at some of the pictures, I am a little concerned about some of the amenities (i.e. restrooms) that we take for granted here in the U.S. Here are some of the photos of the restrooms that we will most likely encounter while on our trip. Does anyone own stock in Germ-X, if not, now is the time to buy it because you will make a fortune off of us!




Sunday, October 14, 2007

One Month to the Appointment Date

One month from today, we will have paid our first (and hopefully only) visit to the SDA. November 14th is our appointment date with the SDA at which time we will be shown the profiles of a few children who meet our adoption critieria (age 14 mos - 3 years; with minor correctible health condition). I was sitting in church tonight and the thought ran through my mind that in one month, we will be in an apartment or flat preparing to meet our newly selected child within the next day or so.


I am so nervous about the SDA meeting because there is no guarantee that a relatively healthy child will be available. I am trying so hard not to worry but to leave it in God's hands - I'm failing miserably at that right now. Please pray specifically that on Nov. 14th, God will have our child's profile in the selection that we are presented on that day and that we will know without a doubt which child to visit. Also, please pray for peace for us, especially me (Erica) because Jason seems to be completely at ease while my stomach is tied-up in knots. I look at Ashton and my heart breaks because I can't stand the thought of leaving him for such a long period of time. I know that we've made the right decision to leave him with family, but that doesn't mean we won't miss him dearly!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Ashton's 3rd Birthday



Today, Ashton is turning 3! I can't believe how quickly these last few years have flown. I remember his very first birthday when we woke him up and placed a Nemo fish hat on his head - Nemo was his favorite character at the time, so of course that was the theme of his party. He was so little and hardly had any hair that amounted to more than peach fuzz!


Currently, Ashton is fixated by Spiderman. We have transformed the garage into Spidey headquarters. I stayed up very late into the night working on his cake because I want it to be just right for "The Man" as Ashton refers to himself. His party was a success and all everyone had loads of fun! We ended the evening with supper at Demos - Ashton's 2nd favorite restaurant (Cracker Barrell is his 1st choice).


On Friday, Nanny Shields and I joined Ashton's class at Southeast Baptist Daycare to celebrate his birthday with cupcakes and ice cream. The children were adorable with chocolate all over their little faces. Ashton was so proud to have his Nanny Shields at his party - I'm sure it was an event that meant a lot to her as well.


We had a wonderful birthday weekend!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Any names yet?

Okay, the question that is asked daily, "What names do you have picked out?"

For those of you who weren't around us when I was pregnant with Ashton, Jason and I have a terrible time agreeing on names. It took nine months to come-up with Ashton Cade! Things haven't changed much in three years. We still can't agree about names. Jason likes the name Julianna. This past summer, he went on a mission trip to the Lakota Indian Reservation in South Dakota and one of the little girls there was named Julianna. Whereas Jason drove the van to pick-up the children for VBS, he had written down her name in his book so that he wouldn't forget to pick her up in the mornings. I like the name, however I don't want people to shorten it to Julie.

I like the names Maura and Tetianna. Jason says that both names are "nice" but he still prefers Julianna. He has actually been pretty sneaky because he has taught Ashton to say that his sister's name is Julianna - not too fair, if you ask me! One thing about it, Ashton is quick to correct you if you say that his sister's name is anything but Julianna, so maybe his defense of her name will keep people from shortening it.

We have 3 name books that we are taking with us!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Cedar Wood Pumpkin Patch

For the last two years, we have taken Ashton to the Cedar Grove Pumpkin Patch in McMinnville, TN. Jason's parents and his sisters attend with their children. It is so much fun because we take a hayride to a field full of pumpkins and each person chooses the "perfect" pumpkin to take home. There are two fenced-in areas containing animals such as a cow, goats, sheep, donkey, chickens, a turkey, etc. that the children can pet and interact with. There are old fire trucks and an old Army truck that the children can play on.

Ashton especially enjoys the fire trucks. Tears came to my eyes when he told me that next year, he would drive the fire truck and his sissy would sit beside him. I just keep trying to imagine what Ashton will say when he meets his new sibling for the first time. Will he embrace her? Will he act shy? One thing is for sure, he will love her as much as a toddler knows how.



Yard Sale to Benefit Adoption

We had another yard sale this morning. We didn't advertise this time because the newspaper fee would be over $50.00! We posted signs at the main roads, and they worked! At times, we were flooded with shoppers. It is so weird what sells first. The items I couldn't imagine someone would want were the first things to go! I was ready to close shop by 8:30 a.m. because the sun was starting to get very hot. We made close to $200.00, so it was a productive morning!

We had a rather unusual shopper - a ferrett! I looked down just in time to see the little hairy creature scoot right beside my foot. At first, I thought it was a o'possum but then realized it was a ferrett. Ashton was fascinated by it, however he became alarmed when it tried to get into Granny's house. One of the customers took it home with her until we find-out who it belongs to.

I must tell you about one customer in particular. She had scripture references and Christian logos all over her vehicle. She had noticed our yard sale signs that stated that proceeds benefited adoption. She stated that God had blessed her with two grandchildren from Russia, so she personally knew how expensive it is to adopt internationally and not to worry because God would be sure we had enough money. Now, I didn't even mention the cost or whether or not we already had enough money. She went on and on about how much she loves God and how He always provides for her. This may be wrong, but I decided to see how much of a Christian she really is. I gave her too much change. I know that she realized the error because of the look on her face when I purposely counted the money back to her. As she turned and walked back to her car, she said, "God bless your new family." What a hypocrite!

I beg of you, please remember that people are always watching you. From my experience, those who constantly have to advertise that they are a Christian do so because their life doesn't reflect it. If this lady isn't going to behave as a Christian, then I certainly wish she would remove the license plate advertising her church and all the scripture verses and logos. It is certainly difficult to live a Christian life, but people like her do not make things any easier by casting a bad light on Christians in general!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Scabies and Lice Meds

I spoke with Dr. Eastham today and informed him that we have received a travel date. He is an absolutely wonderful pediatrician! I feel very confident that he will work diligently with both us and Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic to provide the best care possible for our new little one. I am concerned about our new child having lice and/or scabies. I have read several reports from families who have traveled this summer that stated that the children in the orphanages were practically all suffering from lice and scabies. Dr. Eastham helped to alleviate some of my concerns by educating me as to treatment methods. I am SO relieved to have such a wonderful doctor. He has absolutely no problem working with Vandy and spoke very highly of the clinic - once again, God has met our needs with wonderful medical professionals to assist us!

The Big Brother-To-Be


This is Ashton, our biological son. He will be three years old on October 13, 2007. He is just starting to understand that God places the baby in its Mommy's belly, so we're trying to explain the concept of adoption as much as possible. He now states that his sissy lives across the "big pool" (ocean) but that he has a baby in his belly! He is excited about being a big brother, however he is a little anxious about Mommy and Daddy being away in Ukraine for such a long period of time. He's going to be great with our new child. As much as Ashton chatters, our new child is bound to learn English in record time!

Slide Show of Ashton

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Ashton's Bombshell

On our way home from church tonight, Ashton said something that really broke my heart. He stated, "Mommy love Sissy more." I could have cried - actually, I did. We have been very open with Ashton about the adoption process and how he is going to have a new sibling. He typically does pretty well and can even point to Ukraine on the map. I never expected Ashton to make a statement of that nature. We love him so much and always dote on him. I just can't imagine how horrible it is going to be to be separated from him for such a long period of time. When he gets ready to go to bed at night, he says that he needs his Mommy and he needs his Daddy - what's he going to think when we are gone? I only wish he could comprehend how much he is truly loved!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic

This morning, we attended a seminar hosted by the Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic. The speakers consisted of a pediatrician, therapist, and psychologist - all of whom were very informative. They will work in conjunction with our pediatrician, Dr. Eastham, to diagnose and effectively treat our new child for any ailments. Our child will have a cursory exam in Ukraine when applying for a Visa, however more in-depth testing is recommended. In order for a child to be eligible for international adoption, a medical condition must be diagnosed, therefore many children receive very creative diagnoses but are actually relatively healthy by our standards. We want our child to receive the best possible diagnosis and treatment options available, therefore we do anticipate utilizying the clinic's services.

One interesting tidbit of information that we received is that our new child will more than likely not respond to falls or injuries like Ashton does. For example, if the child falls, he or she may jump-up and state that he is okay when in reality what he really needs is TLC. Children raised in orphanages have learned to self-soothe and rely mostly on themselves because caregivers do not have time to give them the TLC that they crave. When Ashton takes a minor fall, we tell him that he's okay and he's a big boy - he doesn't think anything about it. Our new child will need to be paid attention to because he or she has never had that type of attention. This will be one way in which we hope to bond with our child. Think about it, this child is leaving the only life that he or she knows and is entering a whole new world of strangers - he or she doesn't know who to trust, much less love.


http://www.vanderbiltinternationaladoption.com/

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Airline Reservations

Until now, it has seemed as if we were living a dream and still in the paperchase process. We have just reserved our airline tickets with Delta. We used the services of Kathy Henry with All Direct Travel to obtain the best rates - she's been wonderful! Well, we will be flying out of Nashville, into New York, and then on to Kiev on November 10th!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Follow-up Letter to Family

Today, we mailed follow-up letters to our immediate family and then separate letters to our extended family and friends who have been so supportive of the adoption. I'm posting the follow-up letter (which was very similar to that received by extended family and friends) because several people online have asked to read it. After joining a couple of online Ukrainian adoption groups, I began to realize that a lot of people have experienced difficulty in explaining why they chose international over domestic adoption and in handling derogatory remarks about their choice to adopt. I think our social worker had a great idea when she suggested the letters because they have served as a way for people to better understand the decision and process without feeling too nosy and even more so, they have helped to eliminate derogatory remarks because people understand why we chose to adopt. Hopefully, these letters can help other families in their adoption journey.

FAMILY LETTER #2:

This letter delivers very exciting news – our adoption application has been approved by Ukraine officials! We are scheduled to leave for Ukraine on November 10th! So far, the adoption process has transpired very smoothly – of course, we all prayed that God’s hand wouldn’t lift from our paperwork. The Eastern European director at America World (our agency) stated that she has never seen anything like it – our homestudy was completed in record time, U.S. officials have processed our paperwork with unheard of fast timing; and our application was submitted to Ukraine in less than one month (Ukraine only accepts a maximum of 8 American applications each Monday)! The director stated that when God works in our lives, He moves mountains. Prayers work!

Once we arrive in Ukraine, we will have an appointment with Ukraine adoption officials. During that appointment, we will be shown a selection of approximately two to six photographs and biographies. We must “pick” our child from those photographs. Oftentimes, the photos are at least a year old and do not accurately reflect the appearance of the child today. The medical and background information will be very sketchy and not all that reliable. As such, we will be hiring a physician who specializes in international adoptions to assist us in determining the correct medical condition of the child we select to visit. If after visiting with the child, we do not think that he or she is an appropriate match or that the medical conditions are severe, we will have another opportunity to visit with another child.

We can only imagine what you are thinking – how are we going to “pick” a child? We keep asking ourselves that very question! That’s where you come in. Please begin praying now that on the day of our appointment (November 14th), God will lead us to the child that He has created for us. We will have only minutes – literally – to decide upon a child. There will be very little time for discussion back and forth, so we are completely relying on God’s guidance in that when we see the picture and hear the bio, we will know without a doubt which child to choose. We know that God’s presence is very real in this adoption – He will lead us if allowed to do so.

The other thing that we ask is that you also begin praying for the length of our stay. The average in-country stay is four to six weeks, however Ukraine has now mandated a new type of passport. Like the U.S. government, Ukraine was not prepared for the backlog that the new regulations created. Unfortunately, some families have been forced to stay an additional six weeks in order to receive the correct documentation so that their newly adopted child can leave the country. Nissan will allow Jason time to travel overseas, however he may have to return to the U.S. earlier than Erica does in order to return to work. We are not stressing about this right now because we know that God’s hand is in this adoption and that He will provide - He has shown that to us time and time again! Please join us in praying in that between now and November, Ukraine will get caught-up with issuing passports so that we can get back to the States in record time!

We are so very excited about the calling that God has placed on our family – don’t forget that the calling also extends to you. We can’t wait to introduce our newest child to everyone. We’re also wondering how Ashton is going to react to a new little brother or sister! By the way, instead of Ashton having to pack-up and move to his grandparent’s house during our journey abroad, he is going to be able to continue living at our house (with a caretaker, of course) while we are away – another prayer answered!

Another little tidbit of news is that I (Erica) am no longer inflicted with heart disease! After undergoing further testing in July, it was determined that my heart is now functioning well within normal limits and is no longer enlarged. My cardiologist literally cried when he gave me the report. He said that whereas I have been on medication for less than one year, there is no medical explanation for my hasty recovery, therefore the recovery can only be attributed to the work of God. He said that he just couldn’t understand why God would allow me to undergo such a serious ailment only to heal my body a year later – I told him that I knew why. There is a child across the world who needs a home, and that had I not undergone this illness, we would not have begun the adoption journey at this point in our lives. The phone line was quiet after this comment, and then the comment was made by my cardiologist – “To God be the glory!” We would “Amen” that comment!

Thank you for all your support, encouragement, and prayers during the last several months and in the months to come. It is so encouraging to know that we are not undergoing this amazing, and yet scary, experience alone!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Dossier Submitted - Another Prayer Answered

We received the call from America World that our facilitator, Yuri, was able to submit our dossier today. Each Monday, approximately 8 American dossiers (adoption applications) are accepted by the SDA (Ukraine adoption agency). There is a waiting list for submissions, so we are really blessed that our paperwork has been submitted. Ukraine has approximately 20 days to review our file and extend an invitation to travel. Right now, we are being told to expect approx. 30 - 45 days before we hear any news because the SDA is backlogged with dossiers. We're praying and God's moving mountains.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Yard Sale to Benefit Adoption



We had a yard sale at the Tudor house this morning. We raised over $300.00 to help with the adoption costs. I am going to the Secretary of State this week to apostille (certify) our dossier, so the amount raised will be more than enough to pay for the service. People were very gracious and many gave extra because of the adoption. We had a blast! It was well worth staying-up practically all night on Friday just trying to get everything priced. Ashton was quite the greeter and made sure that he thanked everyone for helping to bring his new little sibling home. Once again, God is good!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

I-171H Received

We received the form today that allows our child to be officially considered an American citzen as soon as the airplane wheels touch the ground! We are so excited. This is the document that we were concerned was not going to arrive in a timely manner. We have prayed and prayed that our application (I-600A) would processed in record time - prayers work! Our agency was astounded that we received the documentation in less than one month. I'm so excited that tears are streaming down my face! Jason opened the envelope while I was at my parents' house, so he didn't have a clue what it was. I had to leave immediately just to make sure this was real!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Letter to Our Family

Adoption is far reaching and impacts not only our lives but that of our family and friends as well. After we determined that adoption was the path that God had planned for our lives, we excitedly shared the news with family and friends. We quickly realized that not everyone was excited about this decision as we were. Needless to say, this was heartbreaking and very frustrating. Society takes for granted that babies are conceived and born everyday, when that's not reality for everyone. Sometimes God's plan is not for a child to grow in a mother's tummy but instead in her heart. I think the most frustrating conversations that we experienced were those in which we were told that we should adopt from America because we need to take of Americans. Where would be today if Christ had come to Earth only to heal and save the Jews?

Adoption is a very personal choice that should be supported, but reality is that many people cannot or will not support something that they don't understand. For us, adoption is not "Plan B" because this is the route that God knew we would travel before we were even born, much less married. Our social worker suggested that we should write a letter to help prepare people and enable them to better understand our decision. In reality, the rather probing questions and remarks weren't so much from family as from others, because we don't see our family all that often due to living in various states. I certainly didn't want to walk-in at Christmas and people wonder who the new child was! The following is a copy of the letter that we sent to our relatives. It was very well received and they are all very supportive.

Dear Family Member,

I’m writing to let you know of a very special event in our family – Jason and I are in the midst of adopting a child from Ukraine. As we scurry around to complete paperwork, meet with our social worker, and deal with international bureaucracy, we are reminded that God has set us out on this journey and will be with us to enjoy the end result – a child to cradle in our arms and love forever. However, this journey is not just ours, it is yours as well. Although you will not physically travel across the world with us, you will definitely be in our hearts and on our minds. Throughout this process, we have come to realize just how special you are to us and to our children. Miles may keep us apart but our hearts are quilted together by the hand of God, for He chose that we should share the same bloodline but even more, share our love and lives – that’s what makes us family.

Preparing for this adoption extends to your home as well as to ours. It is important for us to know that you too will embrace this child, who although will not share our physical traits or the blood that runs through our veins but will share our in our lives and most importantly, our love and commitment to each other. Some of you may be asking, “Why adopt?” or “Why adopt internationally?” The answers are simple, because God has placed a very special calling on our life to do so. There is no rhyme or reason as to why Ukraine except that God has opened door after door and continuously tugged at our heartstrings. It is our hope that after learning more of our story, you too will feel a tugging at your heartstrings that cannot be denied and long for the day when you too can embrace the newest member of our family.

Now, we have something to ask of you…we need your prayers. Dealing with a foreign government can be very difficult – especially emotionally. Laws change constantly, so nothing is ever for certain. Due to black market baby scandals, Ukraine’s international adoption program has just reopened this year. The adoption process has been completely revised and is still being “tweaked” as the days pass. We are waiting on our passports and a specific form that allows our child to become a U.S. citizen once he or she touches U.S. soil. We are asking that you covenant with us to pray that the both the U.S. and Ukraine governments cooperate and are speedy in completing their portion of the paperwork.

We are also requesting that you pray for each and every individual who has played or will play a part in the adoption process. At this time, we are finalizing our paperwork and preparing to send it to Ukraine for translation and review. If our application is approved (a huge prayer request), we will then receive an invitation to travel. The duration of our stay in Ukraine will be approximately four to six weeks. During that time, we will literally “pick” our child from a selection of photographs of children who match our prerequisites. We are requesting a healthy little girl (but will accept a little boy) who is between the age of 14 months and 24 months. Ashton turned two in October of 2006, so we want to maintain the birth order of our children. Under Ukrainian law, the adoption of a child under 14 months is not allowed unless the parents are Ukrainian citizens.

The most important prayer request of all is for our child. Please pray that when our appointment day arrives, we will be shown the child that God has picked for us and that Jason and I will both know who this little person is without a doubt. Once we select a child, we will then be transported to her orphanage to visit with her. After visiting with her, if we decide that she is indeed the child for us, then a court date is scheduled. If you are wondering what we will do if we don’t like the child for some reason, we do have the option of visiting with another child and adopting her.

There are two very discouraging aspects of this process – being away from Ashton and knowing that in all likelihood, our little girl (or boy) is across the world without a Mommy or Daddy. My arms literally ache for this child. When a child is conceived within you, the love you have for that child grows with you. When a child is adopted, the love grows within the heart and is faceless but ever so strong. Please pray that each night, God will descend from heaven and rock our precious child to sleep. This may seem odd to you, but I pray daily that God will allow our little girl to see our faces each night so that she will know that we are coming as fast as we can and that we love her. This little poem says it all:

I hope you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that’s how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are…what’s taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin…
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I’m doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you’ll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

-------- Author Unknown

Some children think babies come from storks, but for Ashton, his little brother or sister will arrive from an airplane! For those of you who don’t know, Ashton is fixated by airplanes and begs his PaPa to take him to the airport whenever possible. How fitting for an airplane to bring his little sibling across the world to share in all of our lives.

I know I’ve taken-up a lot of your time, however it is important to us that you are aware of the expansion of our family and that you play a very valuable role in helping us to pray for a blessed adoption with the way made smooth. We ask that you share our requests with your other family members so that they too can pray and share in this experience. Hopefully, we will travel before the end of this year!

We are very open about this journey and would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have or just share more about how we arrived at our decision to adopt. Please note that although we are not expanding our family by traditional methods, adoption is by no means “Plan B” for us. Before we ever got married, Jason and I discussed adoption and how we wanted to have at least one of our own and adopt…you see, God always prepares us for what is ahead even when we don’t realize it. My heart condition isn’t an ailment that is restricting my life but a twist in the road that brings us to our appointed path in life. Thank you for listening to our story and sharing in our journey.

Friday, February 23, 2007

TBI Criminal History Report

Today we faxed our request for a criminal history report to TBI. I was so impressed by their services. I received a phone call verifying exactly what we needed within two hours of faxing! Believe it or not, the government is quick in completing some tasks!

Friday, February 2, 2007

AWAA Approved Our Initial Application

We received both a phone call and e-mail today stating that America World has approved our initial application. We truly feel that this is the agency that God has appointed to assist us in this adoption journey. They have worked diligently in assisting us with the transition from China to Ukraine, therefore we feel confident that we will enjoy working with them. Now, we are waiting for our dossier and home study checklist. Let the paper pregnancy begin!

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Changing Country from China to Ukraine

Well, we've had to switch gears and start looking at other countries besides China. Effective May 2007, new adoption regulations will go into effect in China that may prohibit us from adopting from there. My heart condition may very well become a stumbling block to a successful adoption, therefore AWAA recommends that we choose another country. Our options are Russia, Ethiopia, and Ukraine. We were told that out of the three options, Ukraine would be the most predictable because Ethiopia is a relatively new program and Russia is currently experiencing great turmoil within the adoption world. Ukraine's adoption program has just reopened this month and has been re-vamped over the last several months. We have decided upon Ukraine. Of course, the program is a lot more costly than China, however we are trusting God to provide. It is amazing how His presence has been so strong throughout this process. We are submitting our modified intent to adopt letter to AWAA today. It's time to buckle-up and get ready for the roller coaster ride!