The Ukrainian Journey is Over

Well, our Ukrainian journey is over. We officially withdrew from the program on Thursday, April 10. We are at peace and have accepted that it is not God’s will for us to find our child in Ukraine. We don’t understand why God opened so many doors and led us to Ukraine; however we are trying not to question Him. As difficult as the last year has been, our lives have been changed for the better. Our relationship with God, our marriage, and our family as a whole have been strengthened. While overseas, we were able to share our faith several times, so hopefully seeds for Christ were planted and those of you coming behind us may be the ones that God is going to use to water those seeds!

When we spoke with our family coordinator on Wednesday, she urged us not to proceed with Ukraine. In fact, she stated that it is the agency’s position that Ukraine is so unstable and unpredictable that they are encouraging all the families to withdraw from the program. We will be reimbursed for a portion of our expenses and then fees paid to our agency can be applied towards other programs – once again, God is good!

The SDA is de-registering all families who have expired documents - regardless of whether or not they have been updated. We were told by the SDA that we could submit again but that we probably wouldn't get another appointment until 2009. Frankly, we never want to step foot back in Ukraine again. It is appalling that a government can be so corrupt and literally hold hundreds, if not thousands, of healthy children hostage by never giving them a chance at a loving family. Our hearts hurt for these children, but there is nothing else that we can do. We will never forget our heart wrenching experience visiting the orphanage or the horrific lies that we were told by the SDA. We pray that God will intervene on behalf of the orphans and open doors so that they can find forever families.

We are very relieved to have closure to this journey. Don’t misunderstand us because we would have loved nothing more than to be united with a child, however we know that God has other plans in store for our family. It’s really amazing how He works.

When we started this journey to Ukraine, our country choices were very limited because I (Erica) had been diagnosed with mild cardiomyopathy – my heart was weakened primarily due to child birth. I began medication and changed my diet and my condition began to improve. Last July (not even a year after my initial diagnosis), my heart was scanned and amazingly enough, my heart was stronger than that of the average person. My cardiologist was floored because he said that there is no medical explanation for the improvement. Today, my heart is still just fine and I no longer carry the diagnosis of mild cardiomyopathy. If we were to have another biological child, then there is a risk that my heart could be affected again – that’s a risk that we are not willing to take.

The country that we would have chosen over Ukraine (our options were Ukraine, Russia, and Ethiopia) was Ethiopia, however the program was brand new and our agency wanted to be able to gain experience before stating that my medical condition would not be a problem. Well, that was Sept. 2006 and it’s now April 2008 and guess what – we’re eligible for Ethiopia because God healed me! Once again, isn’t God good! The program is operating smoothly and it looks like that is where we may be headed next (we are carefully considering our options)!

If I had not been inflicted with the medical condition, we would not have begun the adoption journey at this stage in our lives. This condition led us to follow God’s will in adoption (thereby getting our attention and opening up our heart to adoption) and because Ukraine allowed us to submit our dossier, we entered the arena of international adoption. It may very well be that God allowed the medical condition and the failed Ukraine adoption only to heal me and lead us to Ethiopia. I guess we’ll wait and see what path He leads us down this time.

We have been very careful not to mention any of this to Ashton because he is having such a difficult time with the whole adoption experience. We have not talked about any latest development at all with him present in the house. Well, on Thursday morning when he woke-up, the first thing that he asked was where his sissy was. I told him that God was still getting sissy ready to come to America. He hopped off the bed and said that he would show me where his sissy lives. We went to the playroom and he grabbed his pointer for the map. He knows exactly where America and Ukraine are located, however he pointed directly at Ethiopia and said, “My sissy lives there.” If I had not been leaning against the wall, I think my knees would have buckled. How did he know that we were even considering Ethiopia? This may have just been a random point; however for me it was taken as a sign that God is still working His plan.

You know, God always knows what He's doing because He prepares us in advance for what is to come in our future. His leading us to our church, Northside Baptist Church, is just one way in which He exhibited this. In our previous church, there was not any adopted children and certainly no children of mixed races or other ethnic groups. At Northside, the congregation is a blend of races and color is not an issue. We love each other as a family - isn't that the way God intended for humanity?

We haven’t decided 100% on Ethiopia yet because we are also considering all our options (including domestic adoption), but I will tell you that we are very heavily leaning in that direction. We have contacted a local agency about domestic adoption and are trying to learn as much as possible about the program. One specific prayer request is that if God is leading us in the direction of domestic adoption that He open our hearts and minds to how much interaction we will have with our child's birth parents. We do not intend upon keeping the adoption from our child, however we want to make sure that our child learns all the details of his or her story when he or she is ready (age appropriate). We're struggling with how we would deal with having a relationship with the birth parent and whether or not the child may be confused because of having two sets of parents. By having information and occasional contact with the birth parents, will the child benefit by having pieces of life's puzzles that would not be available if there was not contact with the birth parents? Ultimately, we want to do what is best for a child - even if that is uncomfortable for us. There are a lot of aspects to consider, so we truly covet your prayers.

For those of you who know Ashton, please do not mention the recent events to him. He really, really wants a sister and is having a very difficult time with the tedious process. We will sit him down very soon and explain things to him (as best as we can because he's only 3), but right now we do not want to play with his little mind or his heart. Please be considerate of his emotions and needs.

Your continued prayers are appreciated. The support of each of you – whether we know your name or not – has been overwhelming. We thank you for following our journey to Ukraine and back and hope that you will continue to follow our journey to find our child.