Literally Feeling the Touch of God

No matter how many potholes we endured during our trip to Ukraine, we are able to look back and smile. We don't understand why we had to travel for 12 days only to return home without a child, but we are at peace with this. Don't get me wrong, when we got back to the hotel after visiting with the children, we were distraught mentally, emotionally, and physically. Jason and I both just sat down on our beds and cried. We're not supposed to question God, however we did on that night. We have prayed so earnestly about this adoption and God has moved so many mountains and opened doors that were seemingly shut, that to this day, we do not doubt that our child is waiting in Ukraine. Sometimes we encounter life events or challenges that just don't seem to make sense, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we took the wrong path or stepped outside of God's will. Oftentimes, it's during those challenges that we grow - Jason and I have certainly grown closer together but more importantly, closer to God. We do not regret our trip.

On Monday, after we went to the SDA and were told that we had to wait up to three months for another appointment, we went to the local Delta office and secured our flight back to the States. I waited for it to become daylight in Tennessee, then I called my parents. It shocked me when I heard the sadness in my mother's voice. I asked her why she sounded so upset and disappointed because Jason and I were alright and at peace. I simply told her that our child just isn't ready yet. Mom has since told me that she thought, if they are at peace, then I have to be at peace and she prayed for just that. Once again, God answered her prayers and delivered peace to her as well.

Some of you may be asking how we can be okay with spending so much money and traveling to Europe only to return to the US empty handed. Even more importantly, you may be thinking that God let us down or didn't answer our prayers. Well, God did and is still answering our prayers. He certainly didn't let us down. Just because we didn't get another appointment date right off, doesn't mean that God doesn't care or didn't hear us. Sometimes, He wants us to wait. We can't always see the big picture, but He can. We are confident that in His time, we will be granted a child - oh, what a day that will be!

On Friday, November 16, after we visited the orphanage, before we settled in for the night, we spent private time in devotion. The devotion centered around the fact that God never makes a promise that He will not keep. We also read about faith. The following passage in our study guide really hit home: "Faith should be practiced more than studied. Vance Havner said, ' Nothing is more disastrous than to study faith, analyze faith, make noble resolves of faith, but never actually to make the leap of faith.' How true!" It was at that point, that we dried our eyes and turned our faces upward. We asked God to use our adoption story to help others. We committed our "story" to Him and promised to share our struggles and achievements as God leads us. Looking back, we should have done that in the beginning, but then again, doesn't being in a steep ravine force us to look up?

On Monday, November 19, before we went to the SDA, our devotion centered around the passage about not worrying that is found in Matthew 6:25-34. We also read about God's timing. The passages included:

• "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14 NKJV

• "He said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority.'" Acts 1:7 Holman CSB

• The Faith Builder of the day: Trust God's Timing. God has very big plans in store for your life, so trust Him and wait patiently for those plans to unfold. And remember: God's timing is best, so don't allow yourself to become discouraged if things don't work out exactly as you wish. Instead of worrying about you future, entrust it to God.

Throughout our stay in Ukraine, God never left us for a moment. Actually, there were times when we could literally feel His hands upon our shoulders guiding us. We have never felt God's presence so strongly as when we were in Ukraine. For all of you who prayed, we felt your prayers! When we were standing in the Customs interrogation room, we felt God's arms, literally I could feel pressure and a sense of peace passed over me. I knew that we were going to board that plane with all of our belongings intact. When our flaps didn't work on the plane while trying to land in Nashville, once again I felt His arms around me and not once did I think about complications (even with emergency vehicles all over the runway) - we knew we were going to land safely. When we were weeping in the hotel room after the orphanage visit, His presence was evident. Don't ever doubt the power of prayer!