One of Those Days

Ever have one of those days when you wake-up in a very bad mood and can't seem to shake it? Well, that's the way I (Erica) feel today. I can't explain the cause and don't understand it, but the fact is today is one of those days when I'm just having a hard time.

The morning started with the wearing of a new pair of control top panty hose. Ever buy the same size that you always wear but when you put them on, they either come-up to your neck or are so small that they barely come-up to your hips? Well, the only pair I found in my drawer was an off-brand and ended-up being defective and barely came to my waist. To make matters worse, the top was cut in a slant so that one side came to my waist and then the other side was nowhere close to coming to my waist. I felt like a stuffed sausage, but I had to wear something. Now ladies, can any of you relate to this? I was so irritable and knew that I had to stop at Walgreens on my way to the office this morning. It was 8:30 a.m. when I pulled into Walgreens (after practically making Ashton run into his classroom) and ran into the store only to find that they were out of my normal brand and size....arggggggggg. I bought 3 pairs of a variety of types and prayed all the way to the Square that I would find a parking spot because I still had to change hose, grab my files, and make it to the 3rd floor of the courthouse by 9:00 a.m. One pair looked like I had been applying tan-in-a-can, and the other was a thigh high. Ladies, if you have the least little bit of pudge on your leg - don't try the thigh highs because they tend to roll down as the day progresses (definitely NOT a good thing). The third pair was put-on and of course, it was so large that the waistband was tucked underneath undergarments - I think you get the idea. Anyway, thank goodness for my new attorney badge because I didn't have to wait in the security line, so I made it to the courtroom with 5 minutes to spare!

The next 2.5 hours crawled by as I waited for my cases to be heard. Last night, I dreamed about the adoption and of course, woke-up wondering why we hadn't heard anything, so that is probably one source of my foul disposition today. As I sat there and listened to case after case about parents who were choosing drugs, alcohols, and permiscuous activity over their children, I felt my frustration grow. For those of us who have difficulty conceiving or can't safely carry a child to term, it is very frustrating to witness parents who seem to "pop-out" children and then not care a thing about them. When my cases were heard, I left the courtroom and headed away from the office for a breather and got out of my control top hose and heels. Now, if only I can shake this mood before I pick-up Ashton in the next 1.5 hours!

People are constantly asking, "Have you heard anything yet?" We are constantly saying, "Not yet." This is so frustrating. We read many blogs faithfully and are very excited when families "find" their child or children, however I will be honest in saying that it also hurts to know that we are still waiting and have heard practically nothing about our own case. For those of you who are in Ukraine now or have just returned, please continue to post about your journey because we are living through you right now. Your wonderful stories of how God formed or is forming your family is very encouraging to those of us who are still waiting to find our child. One day, in God's perfect timing, we too will be able to post about finding our child and how wonderful it is for our journey to come to a happy ending.

Well, maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe, just maybe, we will hear something from our agency and/or facilitator soon. In the meantime, I've got to remember this devotion:

Strength for the Wilderness

The Israelites had been traveling through the desert wilderness to the land of promise. The way was hot, sandy and rough; there was little water. But God had promised that He would guide them and provide for them. However, like many of us, they became discouraged. If only they had trusted God's promise that He who had supplied would continue to supply, instead of being discouraged they would have been encouraged. Discouragement turns to encouragement when we look away from our circumstances and focus our eyes on the Lord.

In 1 Samuel 30, we read about David in the midst of trouble. The Amalekites had burned Ziklag, his private property and residence, but David's distress drove him to the Lord. "But David found strength in the Lord his God" (1 Samuel 30:6). Someone has said, "To look around is to be distressed; to look within is to be depressed; to look up is to be blessed."

Today, our way may be through the wilderness. It may be easy to become discouraged. Discouragement is a tool of Satan. The story is told that Satan was "going out of business." All of his tools were offered for sale. They were attractively displayed on a table. What an array - hatred, envy, jealousy, deceit! One harmless-looking one, much worn, was priced higher than any of the others. "What is that tool?" someone asked. "Discouragement," was the reply. "Why is it so expenseive?" Satan answered, "Because it is more useful to me than any of the others."

Will our distress drive us to despair and discouragement or to God? May we, like David, find strength in the Lord our God.

---- Adapted from Women's Devotional Bible; author Millie Stamm